When I break

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by justMe7, Jul 13, 2013.

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  1. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I tend to keep alot of my optimism, hopes dreams, and most importantly understandings free inside me. What I mean is afloat from the situations of the world. Not entirely, but just enough to allow for them to not be defined by a situation or moment that could block them out.

    I have no idea if that makes any sense to you, but I keep alot of things safe. But I've had a few things happen over the last several years and I've crashed. Each time parts of me lose focus and whittle away. I cripple and scramble to maintain these aspects from nullifying. I struggle to keep a calm and sight that I've developed alive. But each time I crash.... instead of all that I hope, everything lands on these simplistic worthless aspects that soon become the highlight of my life. I break, and when I break the things that would never interest me, or never be enough flood in. And I forget.

    Idk if this makes sense to anyone, but I swear I used to be better at talking on here. I don't particularly like anyones opinions because I don't want them. But strangely this is perhaps the only place I have left where I can talk, even if it's jsut writing something down.
    Spose though this is just another facade in itself :) Trying not to realize it just yet. It's just a struggel when I break, and difficult to maintain who I've become when my airways start collapsing. If that makes anysense. Except for airways, it's thought and awareness.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I do understand this...when I have a meltdown, it seems like everything about me gets tested...and the small and worthless things become what I use to set off my breaking points...and I too have a preoccupation, as many of us do, with things we would not focus upon at more stable times...hope you are crash-free and continue to share with us...with caring and understanding
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    SBlake, you make a great deal of sense. Like so many people who have had some crashes, I also play my cards close to my vest. Seems to be a way to protect my hopes, dreams and accomplishments. I think everyone has ups and downs. The skill is learning to "use" our store of good stuff more often. (I'm a beginner.)

    I wish you a crash-free life hereon in, and loads of time to reflect on what is unique and good about you. :)
  4. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the responses. Not too sure what to say, things are just what they are. Not really all to bad I suppose. Just dealing with things and distracting myself with other "interests". Though they're pretty boring, they do their job.

    :| Makes me want to rage through these walls. Though that's probably a frustration with desire and an incapability.
    Gotta love life..
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