So next year around this time I am planning on moving far far away from here. I am going to go some place where people who know me are going to have to try to come and see me. When I think about this move it brings me great joy. Because it is the first step in me preparing for my suicide. First, I do not intend to unpack more than I need to get by day to day. I plan to be very minimalist. I see this new apartment just having stacks of boxes everywhere. In fact, I am using how much space I can cram boxes into as one of the main things that will determine where I stay. I see myself just throwing my futon mattress on the floor. I see it being impossible for people to stay at my place comfortably. Next, I see myself only leaving my apartment to get groceries and go to the gym. I have no intention of finding places to hang out or be social. I see myself spending much of my time alone in my apartment. Finding ways to pass the time. Probably using video games, and anime. However, these fantasies are wrecked by my pathetic family wanting to visit me. I mean how do I explain these two behaviors without setting off any red flags? How do I make sure that the family doesn't suspect that I am going to kill myself? My stupid family and forcing themselves to pretend that they are actually interested in me always ruins my life.