In my past I used to have major trust issues because I got cheated on before. When I meet someone, it takes a long time for me to bring them into world and get to know me. I've never been the type of girl to go to clubs or bars to have sex. Sex to me is something much more meaningful to me. I call it making love and when I fully trust someone I allow them to break down my wall. A man in my eyes must be patient and understanding with me, I hate when guys try to push me into sex too soon and rush into a relationship. I love communicating and getting to know the person first. I love talking and boy do I love to talk, lol! I love when a man can keep up with me or I'll easily become bored. I love learning new subjects and bouncing idea's off of one another. They must become my best friend, like someone that's like your best friend in the whole entire world. Once they become my best friend, the relationship grows. Love going out and enjoying my time with them, laughing with them, playing video games with them, going out to the movies, enjoying nature, watching tv and movies together, just simply enjoying each other's company. I love that. I'll never push them away and I'm the kind of woman to compromise with you, talk out our problems, come up with solutions if we end up getting into an argument and I always end up forgiving them in the end. In the end I won't be mad at him or hold it against him: things happen for a reason. We're only human, you know? Everyone gets into stupid "fights" and then we work past it and move onto something else. I no longer have trust issues anymore and this makes me feel good about myself. If I feel like a guy is messing with me somehow I'll end crying and asking him: "What do you want from me? I'm tired of these mind games. If you don't want me just let me go so I can move on with my life...." I love honesty more than anything. I'm not a mind reader. Though once I'm heartbroken it takes a long time for me to get over that person. Sometimes it can take a year or two. It usually depends on how long we were invested together. My first love will never be forgotten, I know that for sure. He can immediately walk into a room and I feel something immediately. If I'm with someone though I'll keep my distance from him because the person I'm with should come first. Believe your first love will be someone you'll never ever forget. The one thing that hurts me more than anything is when I'm lied too, manipulated, abused or not treated right. A person should be treated with respect always. Treat people the way they want to be treated. That's something I learned in Catholic School. I've always carried this with me. Right now let's just say I'm heartbroken and it sucks. It sucks a lot and I'm tired of crying over him. I doubt I'll move on anytime soon because he was my first love and I allowed him back into my life again. I'm so deeply depressed with everything going on in my life, this pretty much tops it all. I hate it. I hate it a lot. Sad thing is I'm not even mad at him or hate him, I just miss him. I could never hate him or anyone. I have so much love in me to hate anyone. Why does this hurt so much? I hope I feel better soon. I really do.