Hi I'm a newbie here so forgive me if I'm posting to the wrong place or if this has already been asked. I have to admit the fact that I have absolutely no desire to live any more. I find I can't trust a single person and have concluded that I am going to lead a lonely existence and die alone. What is the point? I have lived this long even lying to myself that everything is ok when I know it's not. I can't be bothered doing this any more. No-one believes a word I say, no-one likes me and even worse than that, people pretend to be my friend just to get some information out of me so they can share it with others behind my back and have a good laugh. I have never had any friends and can't imagine I will find any now, everyone's too busy having families and doing their own thing. Even my own brother said he didn't care if he never saw me again. The only problem is that I'm too chicken to go and kill myself (at least so far, who knows what will happen tomorrow). So I thought the easy way around this would be to do something like take up smoking and hopefully get cancer or eat really bad and die of a heart attack. Is that still suicide?