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When it's your dad

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Lola 2018, Mar 13, 2018.

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  1. Lola 2018

    Lola 2018 Well-Known Member

    I have had a really bad time for a couple weeks now the thought of just disappearing is with me 24 hrs a day what did I do from him to want a 6 yr old I know I must have been bad when he beat us but then it turned into more I just can't make it go away I see him everyday I smell him everyday and I know he's dead how does he do that I'm scared all the time I cry a lot he was my stepdad how could I have let him I tried drinking I tried sleeping pills nite mares are crazy I feel like I'm going crazy I just don't have any more hope
     
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    You didn't do anything to make him do this. You just had the misfortune of having a step-dad who was a predator.

    He may have even sought out a woman with children to marry, so that he would have opportunities to abuse.

    Normal, healthy adults don't beat or sexually abuse children. Your step-dad was just someone with a very twisted heart.

    None of this was your fault.
     
  3. Dawn

    Dawn Well-Known Member

    Yes, please know this was not your fault at all. U would never think that if it was another child, but because of the abuse it causes u to blame yourself. I think therapy could possibly help u a lot. I don't know if u have ever tried it. I know the flashbacks are terrible and meds could help with those.

    I am so sorry that u have been through so much suffering. When these intrusive thoughts blaming yourself come in your mind, try to remind yourself that the truth is, no child is ever to blame. I also have a very cruel "inner critic." I am fighting back against those cruel thoughts by thinking of what the real truth is and those feelings and thoughts are not the truth.
     
  4. Aprilflowers7

    Aprilflowers7 Well-Known Member

    My father didn't beat me but he pretty much ignored me my whole life. I mean I could read by age three and stuff like that and they didn't even bother caring. I could have gone to a gifted school or skipped grades and now I am on disability because my family doesn't care. It's not even considered abuse because there were no bruises on my body except the scar on my forehead and my mother dropped me when I was a baby.

    He also had a brain tumor too which he later died from and maybe that was why he acted like that but I do not know what everyone else's excuse is.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2018
  5. Lola 2018

    Lola 2018 Well-Known Member

    When it's your parents the hurt is the same we trust them I never herd him say I love you and after all he did I still wanted to hear those words but never did
     
  6. Aprilflowers7

    Aprilflowers7 Well-Known Member

    Me either. He was always angry at me about something.
     
  7. KG654

    KG654 Well-Known Member

    I am so very sorry you had to deal with this as a child, it is so awful for those who have! No, you didn't do anything to make him hurt you in any way. There is no excuse for what he did to you, no child asks for that! Speak this to yourself regularly to remind you it isn't your fault! He was broken, probably grew up w the same thing. Still, no excuse. =( Are you in counseling? If you can't afford it, <mod edit - religion> or know of it. Continue to speak positive truths to yourself to counteract negative lies said to you or you've thought. retrain your brain to speak positivity and know the good in you, rather than hurtful destructive lies. Here is what I do w stress and tho it won't make it all go away, it will help you be stronger to deal w it all. Get outside, <mod edit - religion>, touch the earth and look at the stars. That helps me remember the bigness of life and the constant faithfulness of it all. Also I pray, meditate on wise words and stretch myself thru learning, art and groups like meetups, bible studies, classes. Lastly, I take magnesium and ginseng to calm my body, mind and soul. They also get rid of those sticky negative thoughts and feelings that get me down. You are a treasure, you are worthy and you are loved!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 19, 2018
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