When killing yourself is the right thing to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by diseased, Apr 30, 2008.

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  1. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    I've pretty much decided that suicide is justified in my case. It might seems selfish but I'm sparing people a lot more suffering in the long term. My dad keeps his guns locked up so I'm thinking about jumping from a high bridge nearby. I'm fairly certain that the impact of the fall will kill me. I really hope so. But, if not, I'll certainly drown.

    There really is no reason for me to keep living. All my former friends hate me and/or think I'm crazy. My family is sick of dealing with me and they've said so on numerous occasions. I have no steady job. I've been working for my dad which is humiliating. He says the most disgusting, embarrassing things to me in front of his employees. Because of his bitching about me my entire hometown now despises me. Although most of them already did to begin with.

    I HATE my dad. He's an ignorant, cruel, sick fucking pervert. But if I don't do what he says he won't help me. I'm completely broke (in debt actually) and I need him to bail me out. I can't count on my mom for shit because she can't put down the crack pipe long enough to listen to one god damn thing I have to say.

    So, I'm 22 years old and a total failure at life. I dropped out of college. I desperately need to get off this farm and go back but I have no money. I'm basically a waste of life and everyone would be much better off if I just killed myself. I can't stand having the people I once cared about hate me so openly. I don't want to suffer the depression, anxiety, and panic attacks anymore. I just want it all to be over and then everyone else can get on with their lives without me around.

    I've tried before and failed. Next time I'll be sure not to mess it up.
  2. Amadeo

    Amadeo Guest

    Dude, sounds to me more like your folks are the wastes of space.

    Your value as a person is determined by your character, not how much money you have to your name.
    Be safe man.
  3. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    I don't think I'm any richer in character than I am in dollars. I'm supposed to be at work right now.
  4. Amadeo

    Amadeo Guest

    Would you not be a work if your fathers presence was not their to disrupt your day?
    Do you spend the whole day smoking crack?
    Do you set out with the intention to hurt and distress people?
    Do you deny that you actually do want to go to back to college and make something of your future?
    I think the answer is no and as such I can safely say your better than you give yourself credit.
  5. pastelmoon

    pastelmoon Active Member

    Your family and friends seem to be the ones who deserted you and let you down. Everyone goes through tough times in their lives....I know I did when I was around your age. I'm 25 now but from 18-23 I was lost and didn't have any direction. Forget everything your Dad says about you. He's a jerk for even talking to you the way he does. He's not a good person so his opinion should matter little. The title father doesn't mean much when the person doesn't know how to fulfill the role.
    Why should you die? You are the one who sees how messed up the situation is. You are the one who has a chance of being a decent person. You know what its like to be put down so you won't do the same thing to others. When you become a parent one day you will know how NOT to treat your children. You do have a bright future even though its hard to see over the hill in front you. Just take it day by day. Make small goals for yourself and before you know it you will know exactly where you're headed instead of wishing you knew where you wanted to be.
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