When life as you know it comes crashing down...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Matthew7241, Jul 24, 2012.

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  1. Matthew7241

    Matthew7241 New Member

    My whole life I never thought my parents would get divorced, or even consider it. That all changed this year. My Mom is the main provider in my family as my Dad decided to quit his job without even talking to my mom about it. If things get abit uncomfortable for him, he quits, and he tells me and my brother that we give up to fast and are lazy... I wonder where I got that from? My brother had serious depression problems last year, and me and my mom were there for him, but all my Dad could do was hit him because he was not "listening", while he was actually crying about how he felt, and my Mom was so tired from working 24/7, she could almost not stand. While in my room, my Dad decides he's had enough and starts having a damn fist fight with my little 12 year old brother (vs a 90 KG grown man) My brother was'nt even fighting, but he ended up with a bruised body. Now im not trying to say my Dad is a child abuser, hes never hit us like that before, but to do that whn my brother was going through such a hard time, was unacceptable. My mom finally had enough, and kicked him out og the house. After months of him pleading and crying from him, and me Having to stay strong for both my mom and brother (while I myself was suffering from depression for three years but never told anyone), my mom let him back. We all thought he had changed, he got a job, he acted more like a husband and not a child... But thats changed again. Were back were we started. As im writing this, my moms left, I dont know where she is, and my dad is blaming my brother for her leaving, Instead of himself (he chooses to quit jobs, read the newspaper, and do nothing while my mom works as hard as hell). My Depression's reached its limit, I cant go to school, I never leave the house because I cant stand being around other people, and all I do is immerse myself on the PC so as not to think of my life. Suicide is a daily thought, and I really cant see a reason why I should'nt do it. Cant see what use I am, Im just adding more stress to my mom, and I hate myself for that. I dont know whats the use of writing here, I just thought speaking to people who maybe felt the same would help me before I give up and do it. I hate myself for being so weak as to not be able to stand strong, even though I know there's so many people who have so much more problems then me. I have a roof over my head, anything I could ask for, food...

    Thank you for taking the time to read this.

  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am so sorry to hear of your difficulties and your brothers as well. There is obviously no simple answer but consider starting with talking to somebody about it, medical professional, school teacher or counselor, or social services and tell them the whole story and see what they maybe able to do to help..
  3. Matthew7241

    Matthew7241 New Member

    Thank you for your reply.
  4. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I don't have the answer for you. I can tell you that you've come to a good place, a place that's safe. It's meant a lot to me to have this forum here.

    Here, you can tell us what's going on, without judgment or condemnation.

    Stick around, make some friends here.

    We're a community of people who help each other.

    I can't improve on the advice above - start with telling a teacher, counselor, an organization that helps runaway kids, or homeless, usually has access to some good resources that you might not be aware of.
  5. Matthew7241

    Matthew7241 New Member

    Ty Lefty
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