I just realized that when my kitty dies I will have nothing keeping me here. Zero, nadda, nothing my life will be devoid of any meaning. All I have is debt, and I don't care if it screws over my family. I will just die and there will be nothing that can be done. Some of you may wonder why I am saying this. Well it is simple really. I have given up on the one other goal I had. That goal was to get good with women. Over the holidays it is hard for me to get out and do my exercises. So while I was sitting at home, stressed out thanks to the holdiays. I thought about things a lot. Then I came to the conclusion that all I really want from women is sex. Then I analyzed what it would take to obtain such a thing. When I saw that the occasion bed time for 1 to 10 minutes... if I Was lucky. Was not worth the hours of other crap I would have to deal with. Because I know I will never get any girl who would want to be as active as I require. So what is the point? With that realization, I decided that it was best to just quit. I can get as much as I want as often as I want in my imagination. With my imagination I can pretend my hug pillows are alive and warm and all that stuff. With the time I will now have I can do other things as well. You know things to pass the time as my kitty's time to pass comes. Women give me nothing other than sex. So I wonder how long I will last when my kitty dies. Maybe a night... maybe an hour... maybe a year? Not long though, after all once she is gone I will have nothing to keep me here. I kind of laugh at myself for having such an obnoxious goal as getting women. If I could get women I would not have any issue getting them. However, I think once you hit a certian age where it is just a joke to keep pretending like you have a chance. Oh well now I have plenty of time to pass the time in a relaxing way.