When No Hope Takes a 180 Turn

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by Young suicider, Sep 18, 2015.

  1. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    I haven't logged into this site for nearly 3.5 years now and I have been meaning to come back to share my story since the last time I logged in. Some people just up and vanish on this site and you are left wondering where they went. I wanted to come back and give a feel good story that can maybe help someone. I hope some people take the time to read this as I am incredibly proud of how far I have come...it is truly unreal.

    First off a little bit of background of how I ended up here. I was a wreck starting in my pre-teen years. I didn't know why and I still don't. Everything depressed me and I felt like nothing went my way. Whether it was dating, friends, school, or at home I swear every darn thing went against me. I was madly depressed and flirted with suicide thoughts. I couldn't talk to anyone and I just felt alone. It continued for years and I was just lost. Finally when I was 15 I met a girl over the internet and she was such a joy to talk to. Through this time I started to date a different girl, but after 2 months she dumped me. I was crushed beyond belief and I dropped like a rock. I was extremely depressed and suicide was an option more than ever. I, a person never to tell anyone anything, gained the courage to tell this girl over the internet all my problems. I did and she instantly freaked out telling me she couldn't handle it. I was a wreck and I wanted it all to be over. I had no hope and I saw no way out of it. I cut and I planned a suicide attempt...it was all ready to go.

    Then one day I got a text and it said, "Hi". It happened to be a friend of the internet girl I talked to. I texted her very briefly one time so I was a bit surprised she texted me. I guess she got wind of what I said from her friend and decided to text me. We texted for a couple months and I didn't really think much of it. We started talking on the phone and one day she just randomly said "I love you" when we went to hang up. I hung up the phone without replying since I was in utter confusion/shock. She wanted to have a relationship and I figured what the heck why not? What do I have to lose? So we started to "date" having NEVER met and her incredible, maybe insane, parents decided to drive her the 5.5hours to meet a stranger for my 16th birthday. It was the craziest 3 days of my life.

    Our long distance relationship went on for two years mostly surviving off Skype since we only saw each other every 6 months. People doubted us and thought it was ridiculous, but I didn't care I felt like I found the one. A year ago we jumped a hurdle and closed the gap when I opted for a 4 year school only 1.5 hours away. Things are at an all time high now. I am 19(she is 18) now and she means the absolute world to me. Without her I honestly don't think I would be here typing this.

    I have been meaning to type this up since our 3 year anniversary on September 3rd and I have finally gotten around to it. Except that isn't what finally pushed me to do it today. What finally got me to get on to write this up was getting the surprise news that my beautiful girlfriend is pregnant!!!! I am very excited and can't wait for the birth of our baby. It is unbelievable all that has transpired over the last 3 years. Getting into my major to set up my life, becoming a resident advisor, and now awaiting the birth of a child.

    So I guess the moral of the story is that no matter how bad things are now or the lack of hope there might be it only takes one thing to change the course of your life. The smallest most unimportant thing may spring board you into a totally different life not like anything you could have ever imagined before. My life was changed by a total stranger texting me "Hi". That is all it took to 180 my entire life. The world is a giant playground. You might not be able to make your life anything you want, but YOU CAN make it different and YOU CAN make it better. You just have to stick around and give it a chance.

    Id like to thank this site, the staff, and all the members for everything they gave me over the years when times were tough.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    So happy to hear you are doing well hun i remember you congratulation on the news of your new baby on the way.
    You are right one has to stick around to see what may come as no one can really see the future and what it may bring
    thanks for the update take care .