When no one knows...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by doingok?, Apr 8, 2009.

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  1. doingok?

    doingok? New Member

    I am just so far down that I can't pick myself back up. Problem is that no one knows, I have excellent ways of hiding it but it is getting rediculous.

    I can't think straight anymore or hide how bad I feel, so I think i'll just lock myself away...I don't think I can face going out tomorrow.

    Maybe someone needs to know, but I don't have anyone to tell, a million people around me, no one real.
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to actually tell someone how you're feeling. As time goes on it gets easier and easier to hide things from people that care about you. A simple smile makes them think that life is great when in reality you are seriously suffering. I know that it's hard to talk to people but eventually you will snap and it'll all come pouring out, so before that happens why not little by little let it out here. That way you have no worries if you don't want real life people knowing.
  3. doingok?

    doingok? New Member

    thanks for your help.

    I feel so selfish having such bad thoughts, I don't know whats wrong with me.
  4. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    I'm the mastermind at masking my depression. Even my parents find it hard to know if i'm depressed if i decide not to show it to them. And even if they do know, they very rarely, if ever, know the extent. It causes lots of issues.

    So from someone who knows how it is to put on a good show...you'll find it hard to keep it up for much longer. I honestly believe that a day or two away from the world can be a very helpful thing. Not to excessive extents obviously - but i have in the past gotten to point where i literally couldn't speak and go into the world. I couldn't face pretending anymore. So yeh i think you're doing the right thing to cut yourself some slack and take some time out to look after yourself.

    I feel for you about not having anyone to tell. I don't talk to my parents about the depression because it is too awkward but at the same time i know that i can if i want, and that alone helps. Maybe you could try a support phoneline. I find those useful sometimes when i need someone to talk to but can't to anyone around me. Or just posting on here can be theraputic until you can speak to a professional.
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