Hi everybody I found this forum accidentally, desperately seeking people in the same situation as me. I've had thoughts of suicide occasionally before. Recently the love of my life announced me that everything is over between us and there is no way of return. And now it frightens me because the impulse of really committing something like this is incredibly strong. I feel such a powerful pain that I cannot control it, I cannot see any escape for the moment, it's like I would do anything to get rid of this torment, including my annihilation. I refused to go to a New Year party because I am in such a pathetic state of mind that I would spoil everybody's fun. Besides I would be compelled to see everybody around being happy and joyful... The seconds and the minutes seem so long, like years, and when I think about suicide I feel such a relief, like I found the answer and the solution and this is the only way of not feeling this unbearable sufferance anymore. I also feel hopeless, like the past was the best part of my life and I have before me a future of gloom and regret. Oh, if only this night would pass... I feel like I won't see the light of the day again. And it is New Year, for God's sake! What should I do?