I have noticed that websites that give advice on suicide state that it is a permanate solution to a temporary problem. However what if the problem isnt temporary. Yeah, I understand I can do whatever I want during my life but it everything seems pointless. I spend my days indulging in things such as expensive food just to let the time go by. Im still here because I do have some things I must accomplish first but it becomes hard to even care about those things. I dont relate to people who have typical depression. I see people who cry all the time and I think they must feel even worse, yet at the same time I see them able to enjoy things as well. Nothing makes me cry. I actually dont understand why most people have physical reactions to what their thinking. Maybe Im just a misanthropic nihalist Ive wondered. I just find it hard to care about much of anything anymore. The humans Im stuck on this miserable planet disgust me too. I am disgusted by their weakness most of all. I find mental illness treatment to be inept as well. I have been on over 10 differant meds, and while they help me function, I dont feel any happier overall. Currently Im on 4 various psychotropic medications. I often contemplate stopping them again. I dont function so well without them but without them I seem to feel nothing at all. I become nobody. I find councilling pointless as well. If anything it has made me even feel more negative. Anyways Ive gone through the various advice throughout my life and none of it has really helped much. I didnt really have a bad life or childhood either other than I just couldnt find enjoyment in what I was given. Some people are just naturally unable to be happy. Nobody asks to be brought into this world so why must we be pressured to stay here.