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When the bus hits...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shedhaddock, Jul 23, 2013.

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  1. shedhaddock

    shedhaddock Banned Member

    Have you ever had one of those days when you think you're ok, and then WHAM!! the bus hits you?
    And at that very moment, everything just falls apart.

    First there was my goldfish, happy big bugger - could sit for hours just watching him go round and round in his little fishy world. And then he sick and dies.

    I go to the beach just to escape the world around here, and while I'm busy hunting for pretty shells, I don't notice that i'm burning until late Wednesday night - early Thursday morning, and my skin continues to burn purple. Its painful and blistering and I can barely move, but I have to laugh about it, or else I would cry.

    The Saturday just gone, a guy I used to know, killed instantly in a fatal road accident.

    My head is sat in torture wondering how many "lies" someone else has told me. They said so much and yet they seem to change like the weather. I believe I need consistency and routine, not a jumbled up life.

    I want to cry, but I cant cry, it feels wrong and I cant see the reason why I want to cry.

    My head is tortured by the images of the abuse and my abusers, the looks on

    In my head I see myself sat alone in a dark place and I know that to succeed, then I cant say anything more.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry hun all this has happened You have great reason to cry hun and if you can just let the dam tear some ok it will help lessen the pain some
    sorry for the loss of your friend hugs Please stay safe ok
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Have often been hit by that bus and try to hang on to my nan's words "it comes in threes then gets better".
    Sounds like you've had your 3, so hopefully things will get a lot better.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I wish I could cheer you up :cheer2: send my caring :cheerful:and make all the bad stuff go away:spider::hurt: but all I can do is send my caring (and use this funny smilie --->:flypig:) because what would I do without my Pinky Dust??? Thinking of you
  5. shedhaddock

    shedhaddock Banned Member

    I have just realised that a fair chunk of what I wrote here yesterday is missing. I hate auto save. How can I reach out to you guys and tell you how I feel and what's going on in my life to hurt me so much, if it disappears?

    I just found out that one of the recovery drivers that were sent to the scene of the accident on Saturday took pictures of the lifeless body on his mobile and its just sick. Only the police and forensics should be taking pictures of that sort, not joe bloody public.

    The dark places just get darker
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