When the dreams are all we have...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by touglytobeloved, Jun 17, 2008.

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  1. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member


    When the dreams are all we have, we become daydreamers. We try not to wake up. Forever. There is no hope. Just dreams. Its all we have, its all we will ever have. We exist in a world that don’t exist. Timeless and spaceless. In a place where you can do anything, but you have nothing. It’s a dream. And the cruel reality is always there. It never fades away, it never will. But we are dreaming. We dream about the world beyond the limits, out of space and time, full of everything. Full of happiness and joy. We dream about the time till we die, we dream about the day we will die. We dream about every moment, here and after. We have never died, but we have already faced with death. It’s a releasing feeling. We feel releaf and happiness everytime when we lose something, despite all the pain, because we know it’s going to end one day. And we can choose when. And there is no fear. There is no fear because when we die, we don’t die. Because when we die, we will start living. We will leave this world and we will live in our dreams. Our dreams will become our reality. We cease to exist, yes. We don’t know what’s after death. But that gives us a lot possibilities. We can believe in everything we want. We all have our Island, like someone says. And we will all go there. The universum is huge and full of possibilities. They are waithing for us. This, our life, is just a phase and we must pass through it. Like the butterflies. Yes, we are just like them, we are butterflies. Fallen angels without wings. But we can fly. We know we can. We just need to learn how. Our life, every moment of it, every moment before and after, they are all pieces of a chain. Noone knows what’s on the end. Noone knows if there is an end. Maybe it’s a cycle. Maybe it’s a scale where we can go up and up, or up and down. But do we really care? We are energy. The energy can not be destroyed. So and we. Because we are the energy. We will cease to exist one day, but we will transform, we will not die. The energy comes from energy, and the energy transforms into another form of energy. A star dust. That’s what we are. It’s the ultimate energy. Every piece of us, every tree, plant, stone, rock… It’s all star dust. We are the entities. We are all one. If we can face with this, if we understand this, we will see that there are no limits, there is no law, we can do everything. And the world will become a better place to live. We will achieve the ultimate state of mind. We can be able to know what’s wrong and what’s right. There is a diference between good and evil, it’s just we are still not able to make that difference. We think we are, but we are not. We can choose in what we believe. It’s a fate. We can make our decisions on our own. And we can make the right decisions. What is a right decision? It’s a decision for which we will never regret. And there will be no pain and sorrow. Only happiness. There are so many unanswered questions. We search for the answers all the time. Maybe we will find them, maybe we won’t. It’s a puzzle. Its hard to put all the pieces in their right place. But we will solve it one day. Maybe it wouldn’t be us. Maybe those who will come after us will solve the puzzle. Maybe it will be in distant future. But, as I said, we are daydreamers. We live in our dreams, and our dreams will become reality, one way or another. And the world in our dreams is timeless and spaceless. So, no mather who and when will solve the puzzle, we are all part of it. Timeless… There is no past, there is no now, and there is no future.
    Well, I know all of this is just another dream. I know it, because I’m just like you, because I’m a daydreamer. And I live in my dreams, because its all I have. I have no hope, the dreams are all I have. The question is, how long I can sleep without waking up? How long I can dream? How long I can live in my dreams? What will happen when I wake up? The truth is…. I don’t know. I really don’t know. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll start to dream another dream. Yeah, maybe. Because its all I have. Because the dreams are all I have.
  2. LosingMyGrip

    LosingMyGrip Member

    I copied your post onto my computer...some parts are so eloquent I felt almost like I was dreaming just reading it. I love the part about our lives being a piece of chain...unknown origin and unknown destination.

    I too live in my dreams, but my sleep is never long enough or sound enough. Lately I can't even daydream for the reality of the world is crashing in on me. I do not think that I can 'dream' much longer, but instead I shall go to the other side and see what awaits there for me. I think I will like being star dust!
  3. This is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. nothing more, nothing less.
  4. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I just wanted to read this again... And i wonder, am i dreaming my last dream now?
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I really hope you aren't dreaming your last dream. Is everything okay?
  6. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    yeah everything is okay
    i jusr wanna wake up
  7. catnip43

    catnip43 Active Member

    Same here..I dream of the days I was able to work before mental illness set in, how happy and upbeat I was, how much I was willing to help others, of beautiful animals, and most of all having a boyfriend that loves me and cares about me. I always wish that I could just stay in my dreams. When I awake, I curse God for letting me live. Two years ago it was the opposite I used to have nightmares and be grateful when I woke up and they weren't true. I can't figure out how I got from there to here in two years and i don't think I ever will. All I can see in this world now is the negative stuff. One of my favorite ways of escaping is through sleep. Problem is it just doesn't last long enough. I can no longer daydream either because reality is setting in. My Mom gets on my case all the time about sleeping the day away and I"m like "I don't have a job, it's hot as h*ll here even in the morning so why not sleep the day away and enjoy the night?" We're always butting heads about that one. The other day she managed to wake me up at 10:00am (I had forgotten to turn the phone off) and I almost bit her head off, especially when she suggested I go "sit out on my patio" or go find a place outside where it is shady and sit. Sit and do what??? Watch all the narccistic people walk by cheerfully babbling with their cell phones stuck to their heads. Give me f*cking break! That only makes her madder and amuses me in a sick sort of way. Oh well, that's just how it is for me. No friends+no job+living in desert h*ll=me not bothering to even go outside....
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I can totally relate to your post.
    I feel this way all the time. It's like I live in a fantasy world,nothing seems real :unsure:

    I hope you're feeling better today x
  9. Drekono

    Drekono Well-Known Member

    I can completely relate. I dont have a life so I spend all my time lost in my own mind. Daydreaming for hours at a time. My mind is constantly racing with them. Im pulled into these daydreams just so i can escape this pathetic excuse of an existence. To escape reality.
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