when there's nothing left to stop you *T*

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, Jan 28, 2007.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    firstly i want to tell u all that ive gone to visit some family (i wont say where cos no1 actually knows ive gone :dry: ) i still have internet access but i doubt ill be around as much as id like to be.

    dont even know what the point to this post is...no1s going to encourage me to do it/tell me it's ok etc, but it helps to say it.

    what do u do when ur whole life is concentrated on suicide? u wake up thinking about it, go to bed thinking about it, and every moment in between is spent thinking about it? how do u carry on with ur life when its the last thing u want? heard the quote *when ur best is not good enough when do u stop trying?* somewhere the other day...and thats me..my best is NOT good enough..in ANYTHING or for ANYONE.and more importantly, its not good enough for me.

    all i can do is cry and drink..i am constantly arguing with people, i cant have a conversation anymore, it always turns into a fight..my tempers too short...i cant eat, sleep, concentrate on anything....i cant do anything. theres nothing left, no fun, nothing to make me smile, no1 i care about enough to stop me (except my nan who doesnt have that long)

    i just want to go. all i want is for someone to tell me its okay.

    i cant keep on like this. i just cant. please, someone help me.

    there must be a point in life when its acceptable to go?? there must?? and im convinced im there.

    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2007
  2. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    hey darling,

    im really sorry things are so tough at the mo. but you can get through it - you are very strong and such a fantastic person.

    i know things are hard for you. you just have to keep going. ill be here every step of the way.

    i hope visiting your family will be good for you.

    just try and keep intouch.

    Stay safe xxx
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    You said what do you do when your life is concentrated around suicide. My answer to that is getting yourself admitted. Alot of people care a lot about you, myself included. You need proper help. Please do that.

    You know where i am x
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    vbuk thank you hun, uve been so great the last week or so xxxx

    vikki getting admitted is not the answer. thank u for caring though hun.

    i wish i wasnt so scared of it. its the onyl thing stopping me. i dont want to be alone when it happens. so scared.

    i hate myself for being a wimp
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    It is the answer. Its the answer to getting better. I wish you'd see that. The feelings not just gonna go away. Do something positive about it and get proper help.
  6. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    vikki hun u kno what my families like, i even tried going into hospital a few weeks ago and none of them wud support me. i cant i just cant xx
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Yeah i do know what your families like. But you should do this for yourself. I know they won't support you. But please think about it, if you get yourself admitted and are honest with the phsychiatrist about how you feel then our family is gonna have to face it wether they want to or not.
  8. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    i cant hun. if im still struggling along when nan goes then itll be the first thing i do x