Every fucking time things start going well for me, something ALWAYS ends up happening. I am ready to just give up and accept that i am gonna always be miserable, so why bother trying anymore? 6 or 7 months ago when i was still using drugs, i took a bunch of xanax because i was really nervous, and then my friend at the time bobby wanted me to grocery shopping with him. Well if anyone has ever abused xanax you know it makes you kinda clepto and you don't remember much. Well apparently i was looking at some cheap rings, and tried one on, and walked out with it. blah blah blah so just yesterday morning i get a call at 8:50am from an officer jackson, informing me that there is a warrant for my arrest. I have to go turn myself in tomorrow, and hopefully i will be able to bond out. I had straightened up completely since my last relapse, haven't touched anything, i don't even drink anymore, don't do anything illegal. Got help and things were going well. Now they wait THAT LONG to decide to do this over a six dollar ring i offered to pay for! i have been so nervous that i am physically sick, and have been slicing myself up pretty good. I cannot handle going to jail like this, so if i can't bond out i will end my life. If i go to jail like this i will "lose it", because i can't even stand being confined to a hospital. I guess i have been waiting for an excuse to end my life, so depending on how tomorrow goes... i have my excuse.