When thoughts on cutting might change to thoughts of amputation

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Oni, Feb 25, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Oni

    Oni Active Member

    About 10 years ago, I used to cut myself on a, well.. regular basis. In recent years I haven't done it.. that much as least. Last thing I recall is last week, when I used scissors... however with my current mindset, rather feel just severing a finger instead of just taking a razorblade...

    and then to think, I have to leave in 10 minutes to go work....

    Sure, some people might find this offensive and some people think I overreact.. but it just popped my mind. And my visi to the therapist is like... 2 weeks away.
  2. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    u'd live to regret it if u do it. imagine urself trying to conceal ur hand when you are with others.
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I can really relate to this. Last year I started to cut off my arm.

    If you truly think this is something you might want to carry out then I urge you to contact your doctor, or maybe call your therapist and ask for an emergency appointment.

    What is it that cutting of your finger will achieve for you, do you think? You obviously know that what you are thinking is not a great idea, so could you maybe write a list of reasons not to do it?
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I used to have these thoughts all the time when I was younger.

    What does cutting off your finger, what would that say, you're trying to say something, maybe?
  5. Oni

    Oni Active Member

    Well, it's not that I'm trying it at the moment, but in times I feel like cutting, which i don't do that often... happened recently, like I wrote.. and that's in a span of say... 5 years or so... anyway, I feel in times that cutting just isn't enough anymore.

    Cutting surely is a personal way of coping, but somehow it also is a way of showing "I'm not completly OK, at the moment"... so what if people you're around with, or heck.. even your parents, aren't taking minor selfharm serious... then what?
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Then maybe it's time to look at more positive ways to communicate your pain to someone?

    Sometimes though, people don't see because they don't want to see.

    It sounds like you need people to hear how bad you feel in those times, and you know what, that's so understandable. Have you actually tried sitting them down and telling them? Or writing them letters? Or maybe done some art (painting/collage/sculpture, etc) of how you feel, and shown them? Sometimes people need to be told straight out.
  7. Oni

    Oni Active Member

    Oh.. I tried that numerous times... and in the end I feel it takes extreme measures to get my point across.

    If anyone should take the messages with any caution it should be the dear ones around you, but the only thing they're interested in, in recent months are, future, career and money.... so where do I come in?

    As I wrote someplace else on this forum; the suicide and feeling miserable-discussions always end up with emotional blackmailing... "what about our future? and I work a fulltime job and I don't have time for this" instead of a "why don't we talk about how you feel and see how I can fit in to that"

    but that's all based on my recent experiences...

    Also, as I know it's somewhat exagerating of course... but from a cut to a amputation is pretty much the same as using a sledgehammer to tap someone on his shoulder to make sure you have their attention. (there's your Se7en reference for any movie-fanatics out here)
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.