When To Disclose?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Bambi, Mar 31, 2010.

?

When do you disclose you deal with depression etc?

  1. At the onset - Before the date/Date #1

    1 vote(s)
    5.0%
  2. After a few dates - Before things get "heavy"/~Date #2-4

    5 vote(s)
    25.0%
  3. When a definite "connection" is established

    10 vote(s)
    50.0%
  4. Never - It is personal and they don't need to know.

    4 vote(s)
    20.0%
  1. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I have decided it is time to be a bit more proactive about my wish to have someone special in my life. I am the type that needs to love and give more than I need to be loved back...I just love having a partner to share life with. Sooo....

    I am going to be a bit more assertive, ask men out on my own, join a dating service (I know but it is a start in the right direction and certainly proactive besides ya never know).

    My question is this....When is the best time to mention I struggle with depression/sadness and get down from time to time and really need my partner to be understanding and supportive rather than run away on me?

    Any thoughts and shared experiences are appreciated.

    Thanks everyone!
     
  2. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    I'd say just disclose it when it feels right to do so. I don't think you can say when that is beforehand because it depends so much on if you guys hit it off or not. So I guess just say it when/if it feels right?
     
  3. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Honestly, I think it's obvious when someone is not mentally/emotionally balanced. I don't think there is ever a perfect moment to disclose....just whenever there is true understanding, that may feel safe but perhaps the "depressed" person will endure healing from a healthy relationship and become a stronger self made person and not have to disclose it......

    My exbf use to always say "You're perfect BUT you need therapy." That was in 2000 and til this day, he was right.
     
  4. Mystic

    Mystic Well-Known Member

    This may sound like an oxymoron, but I don't consider I have depression. The way I feel is 'normal'. For me, that means constant thoughts on wanting to end it all, how to do it, best time and what (if anything) will happen.
     
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    when you feel theres a connection there and you think they can handle it is when i think it should be disclosed, but in saying that theres never an easy time to do it
     
  6. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I didn't have that problem as I met my someone here. If that wasn't the case I would've kept it to myself.
     
  7. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I'm rapid cycling bipolar I, so I'm not actually able to hide it for very long. They find out when they find out... Ideally this is after a connection is established, though (and my luck as it is they usually reciprocate with their own admission of craziness).
     
  8. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all the input you guys are great!

    I am really scared of trying to date (there is a guy I like now but I don't think he even realizes I am alive sad to say) and of being rejected but I am hoping to have the strength to go through and at least try. Hope you all are still here when I get dumped as this is really scary for me.