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When to see your doctor

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by revoltra, Jan 6, 2011.

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  1. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    i really don't know how to start here and i don't wanna write to much, but theres just allo i'm unsure about. Like when do you seek help for depression? And how do you do it?

    to sum up my story, a little over a year ago i was 18 in school and struggling really bad. I always started every school year doing good academic wise no matter how bad i was feeling but then within weeks i would get so depressed that i'd get through the year just barely. However around november 09 it had gotten so bad that i couldn't even leave my bed for weeks (told the school i had swine flu). I was failing half my classes, so the guidence counclir took me in for a meating which then led to her making appointments with the school therapist etc. The therapist was on seek leave due to swine flu so within a week i was back in bed. parents go involved, lots of yeling and screaming and i od'd a few days later.

    After that i had to drop out of school, saw my doctor because of the whole situation and after christmas he set me up with the psychatric outpatient clinic for kids, when i got there they sent me back home because i was 18 (they treath kids under 18). About a month later he had my files sent over to the outpatien clinic for adults. He told me theres a waiting period and offered some antidepressants. At the time i was in shock and a little overwhelmed so i didn't say anything, he sent me into the lag for some blood work, i cried infront of the nurse and went back home. This was around feb/march.

    So the thing is, after that i've had no follow ups with my doctor or the clinic. I got a job, went back to school in the fall and lasted a little longer this time. But now i'm right back where i was. I barely made it through my classes before christmas. And over christmas break i had a big breakdown, stayed in bed for 3 days without eating, didn't get any school work done. So when school started this week i was so scared and panicked that i just stayed in bed, which then led to 2 days, 3 days. I know i've screwed my school again. But i can't seem to leave the house. I'm constantly scared or panicked which is getting really overwhelming. When the phone rings, or i hear someone comming, when i check my e-mail, when someone tries to talk to me etc. Simple things make me loose my breathe.

    I've spent over a year waiting for a follow up, and i keep wanting to go see a doctor but i always chicken out because i'm constantly scared of everything. My parents keep asking me if i'm showing up for my classes and i'm running out of time before someone will contact them. I don't even know if i have a reason to see a doctor, or what to tell them when i call in. I called a crisis line but the woman who answered was a little cranky and noe help.

    I'm sorry, wasn't suposed to write i whole damn essay here just had allot to sum up. so i guess my question is, how i tell my parents about school and if and how i call a doctor, i keep wanting but chicken out everytime as i don't know what to tell them.
  2. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Tell your parents whats going on, maybe they can help financially to get you into a doc appt sooner.

    Have you tried going to your regular family doc, I actually see my Gyno for meds, I know thats wierd but he makes me feel the most comfortable asking and telling.
  3. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    telling my parents isn't an option. when i dropped out of school my dad wouldn't look at me for a week. when i went into my depressive state over christmas my bother spent hours yelling at me, told me that everything i do i plot out to punish her and that i'm a lazy princess who manipulates the family to make them hate her. Then she said she was moving. She hasn't moved, but she hasn't talked to me about the things that were said.

    As far as my family doc. He is the one i was seing last year, but got no follow up. Your suposed to get follow up within 30 days, or sooner if it's serious. Financial is no problem, it's covered here. But in order to see a proffesional my doctor has to send me there or make the appointment. And that's what i've been waiting for the past year.
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sounds like you have fallen through the cracks. there should have been more follow up. call or have a friend call the last doctor you saw and ask for an emergency appt. that should help you jump the waiting list. then you just tell the doctor what you have told us. that you are having a hard time leaving your bed. that school is overwhelming. that you are having thoughts of suicide again. if you aren't sure what to say write a letter like you wrote us and hand it over. wait for him / her to read it and then say you will answer any questions. it can be scary to talk to your doctor but well worth it. you need more supports than you are currently getting. good luck.
  5. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Then you should def call your doc and see what the hold up is. Maybe they lost you in the works, happens all the time. If they cant help then maybe its time to look for a new doc, a year is a outragious time to wait.

    As for your family, this is your life, you need to be upfront about how your feeling, let them know this is no joke and that if you dont get help your scared at what you will do.

    I can say that alot of people take suicide threats as a way to hurt them, but then some of make those threats because we are at the end of our ropes and really need help.

    What do you do to keep yourself busy?
  6. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    to stay busy this week, i've spent hours reasearching the webs for other ways to see a proffessional or how to get help. They all say to see your GP. One option is the local youth center, but it's only open in mondays. I spent some time here on the forums which i hadn't done in months and then more research
  7. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Do you do other things than looking into depression? Do you exercise, I know I always HATED when my therapist would say that, I would be like are your freaking kidding me right, exercise is going to solve all my problems.

    Actually it doesnt solve anything but it makes you feel good and it helps keep yourself occupied and mind off the depression. Even if its just running around the block or hiking up a mountain. Think of joining a gym, plugging on some loud music and beating yourself up physcially? Another thing that helps me is reading, I love to read it takes me to another world.

    Im guessing your not in the states, tell us where you are, maybe some others have some ideas on how to get an appt faster where you are.
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu need to talk to those councillors at your school again they can get you in to see a pdoc sooner. If i were you i would go directly to the hospital and talk to a pdoc on call in the emergency room You need follow up now okay Your councillors at the school will have the connections you need but to get immediate help so you can get feeling better you need to talk to someone in emergency or even a walk in clinic can book you appt with crisis team who has a pdoc on staff. Don't let this go any longer okay you deserve help and you need it now. hugs
  9. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    i love music, reading, art, painting but right now my hobbies just upsets me so quit doing it. I've been going to a local gym for a few months but i can't go there either. I know people who work there, people from my classes, people on the streets and i'm just terrified of meeting people i know. hard to explain and i don't wanna sound difficult.

    I live in norway. An going out there means dealing with everybodies questions facing the trouble i've caused by isolating.


    I'm not at the same school as lat year, so the current one don't know about my problems.
  10. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    You definitely need to go back to the doctor and get the referral. You also need some meds and some therapy. Your doctor should have chased this up so there's nothing for you to worry about if you go and see him. He's the one who made the mistake, not you. You should go and see him as soon as possible.
    Do you know what's causing the depression? Is your home life difficult?
  11. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Can you try another gym? I agree with above, get in to see anyone you can by any means you have to. If you can go to emergency and it gets to hard then make sure you go, dont bluff yourself out of it, just do what you have to to get past this point in life.
  12. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    thanks, i'll try and get an appointment tomorrow and see if someone will talk to me. as of the gym, I'm already paying monthly for my local one can't afford another one.
  13. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    I think this is a really good idea, to write a letter and take it back to your GP - or even just print what you wrote out and take it. I find this really helps me - I'm not a verbal talker, but I'm good at writing things, and if i hand over a letter or something I've written to describe how I feel, it gives a starting point for further discussions. It sounds like you have fallen through the craks, so going back and letting them know things are hard again sounds like a really good idea. Good luck!
  14. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    i know you all are right, and i wanna believe that i'll go in tomorrow and all will be better, but i don't do confrontations well and i'm a master at avoiding problems and people. it's what got me here.
  15. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    How did it go Cami?

    Hope you were able to get some of it off your back and that it made you feel tons better.
  16. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    well i called in and asked for an appointment on the day but they told me to call my gp's office during office hours. But when they opened i couldn't get through, kept getting put on hold and so i went back home.
  17. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im so sorry you werent able to get in. :hugtackles: Can you give it another try? I know its frustrating but once you get on the train of therapy and meds its easier to get ongoing appointments.
  18. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    thanks, i might try again running out of time and options. I just get anxious about it
  19. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Honey, your not running out of time, your brain is telling you that youve had enough anxiety and stress and it wants a break. Give yourself a break.

    Let all those feelings and thoughts run right through you, tell yourself okay thats enough today and get up and do things that will be mind occupied, write stories, chat online.

    Did you ever get a chance to go to the gym? Can you maybe find a time where there will be noone you know there so you can get some of this energy out?

    Call docs today, just in case there is a waiting list, until you can get into the docs, what do you think would help?
  20. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    oh no i didn't mean it like that. I mean time before it all get caught up with me. My parents will find out i'm screwing up school again and all hell will break loose
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