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When we are honest suicide is the only way

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Allan234

Well-Known Member
#1
I want you to imagine a world where your loved one didnt exist, where everyone who has ever loved you did not exist. A world where everyday you were forced to meet a physical manifestation of why you're not good enough to have even the most basic aspects of human love and affection. What would you do? What would your daily routine look like when the most basic human existence was beyond you, when mankind rejected you irreconcilably. Most people here are just looking for their easy good person points and to move on as soon as possible, but I actually would like someone to answer this basic question.
 
#3
I want you to imagine a world where your loved one didnt exist, where everyone who has ever loved you did not exist. A world where everyday you were forced to meet a physical manifestation of why you're not good enough to have even the most basic aspects of human love and affection. What would you do? What would your daily routine look like when the most basic human existence was beyond you, when mankind rejected you irreconcilably. Most people here are just looking for their easy good person points and to move on as soon as possible, but I actually would like someone to answer this basic question.
I live in the real world. Where I feel I’m not good enough or loved. I was conditioned from a young age to be allowed those emotions. And when I start to feel down and try to reach out the best I know how and are capable of and everyone else is to busy to call or your wife is to busy with some Ian’s can’t be bothered and you still try to reach out and no matter what no is there when YOU need it.
It’s only convenient for others when they feel like it. But when someone needs you, you drop what your doing and take a minute to find out what’s up.
That kind of pain can’t be explained shared or show in any way.
So in answer to your question, Yes can imagine a world like that because I live it every day.
 

Optimistic Goatman

The woolly enigmatic one
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
I want you to imagine a world where your loved one didnt exist, where everyone who has ever loved you did not exist. A world where everyday you were forced to meet a physical manifestation of why you're not good enough to have even the most basic aspects of human love and affection
when mankind rejected you irreconcilably
Most people here are just looking for their easy good person points and to move on as soon as possible
Do you not think it might help your situation if you didn't say things like this?^
Generally people don't like folks who treat others like this, this kind of attitude and snideness. Maybe you wouldn't find yourself in this situation where you see suicide as "the only answer" if you tried being nicer to people.
 
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#5
Most people here are just looking for their easy good person points and to move on as soon as possible, but I actually would like someone to answer this basic question.
You know this is pretty insulting, right?

Most people here are actually looking for a brief respite from their own depression and trying, sometimes imperfectly, to offer others the same.

But okay, here's a simple answer to your basic question: you keep doing what's kept you alive so far. If you really truly believed that there was no option but suicide, you'd already have done it.
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#7
At present, my basic routine is getting up - looking after my family - going to work - going to bed. Rinse and repeat. Remove the family (and presumably work too) and my routine would be - wait to die.

Is that what you wanted to know?
 
#8
Ok, I'm guessing that what you've described is the way you see your life. And most people, if they are honest, know that they have no way of knowing how they'd respond in someone else's shoes. So anyone who does give you the type of answer you're looking for is just making shit up, whether they know it or not.

But, you know, there are a lot of people here who have lived, or are currently living, their own version of hell. And if you were to take an interest in them and their lives (rather than just constantly trying to prove that yours is worse) then you might learn how they cope. And you might find the thing you're really looking for based on your other posts: real human connection.
 

Daphna

Ninja of light
#9
I want you to imagine a world where your loved one didnt exist, where everyone who has ever loved you did not exist. A world where everyday you were forced to meet a physical manifestation of why you're not good enough to have even the most basic aspects of human love and affection. What would you do? What would your daily routine look like when the most basic human existence was beyond you, when mankind rejected you irreconcilably. Most people here are just looking for their easy good person points and to move on as soon as possible, but I actually would like someone to answer this basic question.
In this hypothetical world I would be miserable. Naturally we all want to be loved, accepted and heard. The reality is that each of us have the ability to connect with others. We have the ability to love and to be loved.
I would like to know what’s so bad that only death can solve and why change is impossible.
 
#10
This is the first thread I read here. Wow, people are not very kind here if this is the norm. Granted the last sentence of the OP was a little insulting, but otherwise he/she was clearly just looking for empathy and validation that life in which no one loves you is absolutely miserable.

OP I agree with you. I myself am supposedly "loved" by some family members but it doesn't feel that way. And due to physical illness, depression, and my crappy personality, I have zero chance of finding others to love me. So for me, this combined with my physical suffering means I will not continue to live this life for much longer.

If you still have avenues for finding love (like places to meet people, platonic or romantic), even if you feel unlovable, then I would say keep trying until you cannot try any longer. If it's impossible for you (like for me) then the only other options are death, or maintaining hope that things will somehow change, or finding some meaning in life important enough that the need for love becomes smaller. I myself could never find that meaning.
 

Nick

☆☆Admin-tastic ☆☆
Admin
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#11
First I'd like to address the title, which you don't mention at all in your post, and if I'm honest suicide is not the the only way. It's by far from the only way. It's a way, but it's not the only option out there.

You're imaging a world that doesn't exist. If you've been loved than you've been loved and if you haven't you haven't. Some people have a hoard of people who love them and some people have one person. Sometimes we don't have people in our lives because of our own actions. Got to take responsibility for your own choices. You can choose to grow and change and learn from it, or you can stay the same and people will continue to bail out on you. Your day to day life is going to look pretty much the same as mine. Shower, eat, work, pay bills, text, check the forum and go to bed.

Most people here are just looking for their easy good person points and to move on as soon as possible, but I actually would like someone to answer this basic question.
This isn't really a basic question. I am not into good person whatever, it's rather presumptuous to assume that of people. You've been around here long enough know the pain many people come here with. I don't think most give a crap about good person points.
 

Optimistic Goatman

The woolly enigmatic one
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#12
This is the first thread I read here. Wow, people are not very kind here if this is the norm. Granted the last sentence of the OP was a little insulting, but otherwise he/she was clearly just looking for empathy and validation that life in which no one loves you is absolutely miserable.
Generally this is a very kind space, but it's also one where people tend to be very protective of each other, so when a member needlessly goes on the attack like that, it's heavily frowned upon.
There are ways the OP could have easily asked for support without needlessly insulting their fellow members, who are also going through their own things, and don't need personal attacks leveled against them at complete random. You need to take into consideration the needs of everyone, not just the one who chooses to be the unnecessarily rude party.*dunno2
 
#13
It's anger talking people... Come on, we've all been there before at some point. Myself, many times... Anyway, person I want to address what you said in the order you said it. I've been 'you' at previous points of my life, and actually, have even shared many of your current thoughts, though through the eyes of anger and incredible pain. Difference is now, I'm able to bite my tongue and think about more of what I say before I say it. And that took years of practice btw. Can I take a moment to say about all the awesome people on this site who put up with me in the past also? Yes I can and will, so thank you:)

What you described is similar to how I view my life, it's not that far from reality for me I don't think. I guess the difference is, is that I have no self esteem issues anymore and absolutely know that I'm 'worth it'. It's just the world/life doesn't seem to want to share that back, so I know where I stand and where I am. In other words, I take the view with the world in general, that, it is not me, it's you. I don't get what I'm worth, and would gladly leave this world in a heartbeat. This IS hell for me personally.(OMG, here come the comments... Please be gentle lol)

But to answer both your title and question, "What would you do?", well let me tell you what I've done and what I do. I'm going to give it to you straight; to be honest, in the current times we are living in this world, I don't think people really know what 'honest' is anymore, and often ridicule or throw away those who do. You WILL suffer if you take that honest road in life, which sounds like something you are no stranger to already. Many people 'think' they're honest for example, but what it really is is just 'their version' of honesty. For example, I found a dollar on the floor of my work once and was ridiculed for asking if it belonged to anyone, instead of just pocketing it. That's because many people have different versions of what 'honesty' is. Same thing with God, or love.

But what do I do? Why do I keep going on even if I think the world and my life is a lemon and most likely always will be?(Thanks Meatloaf. No, it's a good song, you should check it out seriously if you like his music). Well, in a nutshell, because I feel it's the right thing to do and I want to continue to do that until I can't anymore. No land in sight, no water in the desert, ya I know all about that. But I keep going anyway I guess, because I'm either really stupid or it's because it's just who I am. I Guess I like a challenge, lol. And many people don't get that or laugh at that, whatever, I'm used to it. But you also find as you 'keep going down the road' that maybe you were more important in the long run than you thought, which yes is extremely hard to see when you're in a lot of pain. "I'm on a mission", in other words, even though I don't always know what that mission is all the time, I do plan on finishing it. But, keep truckin', and I'm sorry about your pain. You can talk to me anytime. See you at the finish line;)
 
#14
This is the first thread I read here. Wow, people are not very kind here if this is the norm. Granted the last sentence of the OP was a little insulting, but otherwise he/she was clearly just looking for empathy and validation that life in which no one loves you is absolutely miserable.
I'm sorry that that is your first impression of us, but I wanted to second what @Cynic Goat said.

Imagine you know a group of people. Good people, who you care about. Most of them either have, or are, going through some really heavy shit. Many of them have been willing to set that aside in order to help you with your own. Maybe this is the only place where you feel any sense of community at all.

Now imagine seeing the whole lot of these people casually dismissed and insulted by someone who's been around long enough to know better, and has a habit of taking an antagonistic tone when those same people try to engage with him.

Edit: and, TBH, no one was all that harsh toward him in the first place. Going by this, and his past posts, failing to connect with people is his biggest concern. Pointing out the ways he may be sabotaging himself may not be fun for him to hear but is, in it's own way, a type of kindness.
 
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Dots

Misknown Member
#16
Hi Allan,

I don't know you, but it looks like other people here might. I just wanted to say it's easy to lash out at others when you're this down. It's easy to think everyone else is just tossing you bullshit appeasements. Especially when you feel alone and unloved so I understand that. Sometimes it's true. They don't care. But some people do care and I would give them a chance. It becomes easier to let yourself be loved and to love others when you do.

This is the first thread I read here. Wow, people are not very kind here if this is the norm. Granted the last sentence of the OP was a little insulting, but otherwise he/she was clearly just looking for empathy and validation that life in which no one loves you is absolutely miserable.
Hi LittleLoopy,

Welcome to the forums. I am newer here myself and don't feel like I quite fit yet but do think people try to help when they can and where they can. It is hard to put yourself out there. There may be a lot of sensitive souls here. As an outsider looking in, I do think the way that people responded to him was a little isolating. Or more to say the responses seemed more aggressive than the original post. When you say people are protective of each other here, I get that, but it also isolates others who are hurting who just don't know how to interact or open up. When you say you might not be suicidal if you were nicer... that just seems incredibly insensitive to me.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I know what it's like to be new and there are others here who can see both sides.
 
#17
You make it sound like that means that anger can never be a justified response to something.
Sometimes anger is the reasonable reaction.
Not defending someone's right to be rude to others at zero provocation.
I'm a bit confused, because that was not my intent. The reason I actually said that was because he said something out of anger, which in his mind is currently justified, and everyone seemed to jump down his throat. What I meant was(because of my years of experience), is it's better to 'hold back' when someone snaps... I mean, aren't you the one that said to him, "Maybe try being nicer to people rather than just think of the end", and now it sounds as though you're defending him. Which one is it? See, when I came to this site in the past 'full of anger', many times I would just get 'the smiley face' and it made it sound like I was in the wrong for being angry, which I wasn't but was also nobody else's fault at the same time. Does that make sense to you? Please don't take this the wrong way BTW, I just like to be clear in my reasoning.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
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SF Supporter
#18
I thought your post was really spot on, @Sane Man
I didn't mean my post to set a precedence for people ganging up some someone and it came off unnecessarily shitty in tone. I think that we all know that we don't all live in a world where all those things the OP posted don't exist so the entire post made no sense in questioning, that was all I was trying to point out.
 
#19
I thought your post was really spot on, @Sane Man
I didn't mean my post to set a precedence for people ganging up some someone and it came off unnecessarily shitty in tone. I think that we all know that we don't all live in a world where all those things the OP posted don't exist so the entire post made no sense in questioning, that was all I was trying to point out.
Awesome Possum, it's cool. Hey I should use the Possum in my 'Consider the animals' thread, though I'll have to think how it relates to this site/topic somehow. Did you know that it's the only marsupial in north america? I heard that today... Sorry my mind often wanders, oh right I shouldn't always type what I'm thinking. I just love animals
 

Lekatt

Love Cats Love All
SF Supporter
#20
I want you to imagine a world where your loved one didnt exist, where everyone who has ever loved you did not exist. A world where everyday you were forced to meet a physical manifestation of why you're not good enough to have even the most basic aspects of human love and affection. What would you do? What would your daily routine look like when the most basic human existence was beyond you, when mankind rejected you irreconcilably. Most people here are just looking for their easy good person points and to move on as soon as possible, but I actually would like someone to answer this basic question.
If no one loved me I would love myself. I would learn to love others. I would learn as much as I could about this world and why it exists. I would learn to do things. Build, paint, create new things and I would still be happy if no one loved me. However, there is One that will always love you just the way you are. That would be your Creator. Love from me to you.
 
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