I hate what I have become-a lying,sly,caniveing cheat, all due to an eating disorder which probably started during a violent and emotionally abusive marriage. I am struggling big time with my relationship with my parents and theirs with my ex and can't stand who I am-I feel fat and ugly like I'm of no use to anyone and really low. I am currently 112lbs which I know at 5'10" is not as huge as I feel but never the less I am fighting thoughts of dropping lower every day. It's almost like I am continuously having arguments with myself every day-Is this all part of ana or is something else going on? I know I suffer depression/anxiety aswell but this is getting ou of hand now-any advice?