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when will it end?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dreaming_star, Dec 28, 2007.

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  1. dreaming_star

    dreaming_star Member

    just when there appears to be a glimmer of hope my world is shattered by a new problem or disaster, its like someones going... "this is how good it could be...but you dont deserve that" , i feel like someone gives me everything, just to take it away again, i try to live a good life, i try to be kind and caring and helpful and hardworking, and what do i get in return, jack shit, surely i deserve happiness, obviously not... im not going to go into specifics because there's no point...but i really dont think i can go on anymore, i cant keep holding my head high and powering through life, i know everyone has problems but most problems get better, most people get highs and lows, but i just get a shit load of problems and a shit load of lows, i will do it...its wonderful going through life not being afraid of death, when I know death is at my finger tips, i know i could end it all and that makes me strong, people think i wont do it...i will do it, im not strong enough to face life anymore, its beaten me and for once im not going to fight it anymore, iv tried, iv hoped that things will get better, and it hurts so much to admit im just unlucky, iv been dealt a bad set of cards and in life there's no swapping, i just have to deal with it, no doubt, suicide IS the answer.
  2. ward

    ward Member

    suicide is not the answer and to know you can do it without being afraid of dead doesn't make you stronger

    see this as a challenge, when things eventually will get better (wich will happen) you find yourself so much stronger then before.
    I understand when you say life is too hard on you but you don't have to go alone through it.
    Talking really helps and we're all here to listen and help eachother out

    you shouldn't live to die unhappy
    you should live to work towards happiness
    please don't think it won't be worth you're trouble.
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    There are a lot of answers out there. Suicide is the easy one. Let the members here help you find a different one with their advice and caring words. Stop being the one trying so hard and let others try for you for a bit.
  4. Nocturnal Ponderer

    Nocturnal Ponderer Well-Known Member

    Often, I have felt like you.
    Sometimes, when I feel I have been dealt a bad hand, I stop for a while, and look around.

    After looking around, I realise, its not actually that bad after all. I guess it is how you deal with things. Or, how you percieve things.

    Every one of us is a victim. Also, everyone of us is a winner, in some way. We tend to notice the bad, but never the good. We tend to live worshipping the god of pleasantness, but, unpleasantness is in equal measure.

    I'll give you an example of what I mean by everyone of us is a winner.
    Look at something. Now. Right now. Anything. Your hand, a mirror, anything.
    The very fact you can actually see it, in full colour puts you in a winning situation. Imagine if you did not have your sight? You couldn't come on here. You wouldn't be able to style your own hair, drive a car, see loved ones. You would be in total darkness.

    What age are you? I bet it is young. Younger than most. That puts you at a distinct advantage straight away. The older you get, the more set in your ways you become, so therefore being young is a prime advantage you have because you will change and develop so much.. I would probably give anything to knock a few years off and be twenty one again, but I cannot.
    Excuse me if you are older. I am not patronising you at all.

    Being victim to your own thoughts is no way to live. Or more to the point, terrorising yourself with your own thoughts. Answer me these, what is your thought? Where is your thought? Physically? I mean where does it exist? Does it have a form? Does it have a weight? Does your thought have a physical weight? Where does it come from? I'll tell you where, your head.

    Why is it one person can drown, and another can swim given the same circumstances? It is how they look at things. It is all down to whatever fundamental, sub conscious, core system your perceptions filter through before they manifest as thoughts. With that said, I hope I have made you aware that thoughts are essentially based on your reality that exists in your head, so therefore it is possible to entirely rewire that simply by the way you train your mind. Remember, practice makes perfect.

    Personally, despite fantasising about suicide myself when the going gets tough, I am glad I am alive. I am glad that I beat all the odds to be picked as a human being. It is similar odds to being a grain of sand plucked from an entire beach. To be human means all sorts of wonders. Gazing at the night sky through a telescope and wondering how it all started, and fantasising about exactly how vast the universe is and all it encompasses. Just being able to percieve and observe and have opinions about it is wonderful and joyous in itself. No other species can do that.

    I could look at it another way, but I refuse. I used too, but now I refuse (about 90% of the time, the other 10% is spent in bed crying "Woe is me")

    Refuse to yourself. Please be assured, and have faith in the power of your own mind. It has the power to entirely change so much.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 31, 2007
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