When will it end..?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Kiba, Nov 29, 2010.

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  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Just tired of this feeling.. no way to describe it.. Tired of being.. Tired of hiding it..

    Want to cry.. Want to Die.. But can I..?

    I see a future..

    and Somehow.. I can feel useless.. despite all my talents..

    When will it end..? When will I die..? Why cant I even cry..?

    Just trapped in my head.. Wanting to be dead..

    Just all alone.. And living a dream instead..

    But why..?

    Why cant I die..?

    I can name a few reasons why I should live.. but they all seem nullified by my head..

    Nothings real.. Everything is real..

    I have my emotions.. yet.. Its all a dream..

    And the only way to get out of it, in this worlds term... death.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    no the only way to get out of you head out of all this confusion is to reach out and get some help. Therapist is the best person to start to help you with your distorted thoughts help you get on a different path to more postive life okay You can make all this end and start a new journey with some help. You are worth every effort
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    This is so troubling...is there someone you can talk to and can you speak to a professional who can start to help you sort out all of the feelings you (rightfully) have? I hope you begin to embrace your talents and know that you are a good person...J
  4. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Ive been in therapy for a long time (atleast 3 years).. And ironically my therapist couldn't see me today.. She got trapped in another state cuz of airplane problems.. :/ And I was really looking forward to figuring this out.. Plus.. I was Supposed to go to voc. rehab to help me get a job and this is the 2ND time Ive had to re-schedule... sigh.. Idk how much longer I can feel like $#!T and keep above water.. (pardon my language).. I just want to figure out what the *beep* is wrong with me!! I was doing great! And now.. From PTSD.. Holidays.. idk.. just crap... I cant shake this dooming feeling of uselessness and anger..

    I just want to tell the world Im gona *beep* -ing ditch you!

    I cant take this much longer! But the ER isnt an option! *beep* PTSD makes me freak out and I cant handle freaking out any more then I am!!

    Just want to *beep* -ing cuss the *beep* outa someone!

    But all I can do is hold onto that feeling.. And just explode when I cant handle much more.. And Idk how much more I can take.. :blub:
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