When will it get better?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by taffany, May 13, 2008.

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  1. taffany

    taffany Member

    Ok so here it is I am one year out from my gastric by pass I have lost over 230 pounds I should be happy right? Wrong I am not I thought when I had this surgary it would all get better if I could just get skinny. Well fact of the mater is it has just gotton worse, people that I thought cared about me have turned there backs on me oh you have changed you are not the same person, no not on the outside I am not on the inside I am still this messed up ass person that can not figure out which way is up and which way is down. In April I spent a week in the hospital I had a complete break down they increase my depression meds and put me on anxity meds 3 times a day is it helping lol that is funnie now I am just depressed and druged up. they say get some help so I call to get back into threapy and thanks to the great meantal health system of Cincinnati there is a God knows how long waiting list to get threapy in the mean time it is left to my primary care doc to medicate me. I want to know when is it supposed to get better I am at wits end with my kids and I dont even want to start on my relationship with my husbend that is a whole nother post in itself.I am attached to a pole 234 hours a day as I can not eat on my own any more nor can I keep fluids in me so my doc has me on a feeding tube and hydration threapy all of this was not supposed to happen I feel like when I was fat I was healther then what I am now it just never ends and I so just want it all to end the suffering the hurting and the feeling alone in this world .Ok sorry for ranting I have not been on here in awhile but I just had to vent as it seems there is no whare elese to do it at.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sorry to read about how badly the surgery turned out. i can only imagine how disappointed you are. if your old friends don't love you for who you are, thin or large, it's time to get some new friends. you know the kind who are your best cheerleaders, and who support you through the rough patches.

    i know you feel alone, but you have us so that's a start. and if you are thinking of suicide, i bet you could move up that waiting list pretty quickly. after all thinking of suicide is pretty serious and calls for an immediate intervention. does the counselling center know how desperate you are feeling?

    in the meantime there is always the hotline. don't be shy about calling. it costs nothing and won't show up on teh phone bill. it's always good to have someone who will listen to you.
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