Everything feels like a massive rollercoaster of ups and downs. And my mood is fluctuating violently. I keep having dreams about my man and grandad who passed away some time ago. Always the same dream. I've been wanting to talk to my mum about it. But yesterday after snapping at my daughter, and ignoring me for an hour. I'm done with her. I cannot deal with the passive aggressive bullshit she keeps putting me through. I'm sick of the lies . I'm done with it. Friends well what's the use of them the ones I've had have all but lied to me. You can count on me - bullshit. Let's try again - bullshit. We'll talk more often - bullshit. Feels like this world doesn't have space for me. I'm having to stop my meds soon I can't afford my prescription. I can't get help with the costs. So I can certainly see me destroying myself in the coming weeks especially with my mood flipping the way it is. I'm crashing . Big time. And this time I'm all alone.