when you are not you.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Jess, Oct 9, 2014.

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  1. Jess

    Jess New Member

    Sometimes I become so fustrated that no one cares what i am going through that i lose control and cut myself. sometimes for dramatic affect but sometimes because i deserve it/ it is the only thing that seems legitametly equal to how i feel. the first time i did it i cut myself so deep that 5 years later i still have a large scar. the first time i did it i wanted to die. i was not thinking. but i did it the wrong way becasue i didnt know anybetter. strange but i really dont think anyone truely cares for me. i have a tendency to dislike people who try to be good to me. its like as soon as they try to be close to me i start finding reasons to dislike them. such as they are too fat, they are weird. then when people are rude and mean to me i like them. i just cant feel connected to people. i took a government issued personality test and my top strength was connectedness. it said i needed to feel connected to people. I NEVER FEEL CONNECTED TO PEOPLE??
  2. Invisible Child

    Invisible Child Antiquities Friend

    Hello Jess,

    I have read this several times and did not respond back right away. Why? Because I kind of saw some of me in your post. I think we all have those times where we think and even convince ourselves that no one cares, I know that I have those feelings often. You do not deserve it hun. I will never judge you as I am also one that harms myself. I push people away, I don't dislike people, I just have a trust issue and a fear of being left again. Do you have a therapist that you talk with hun? I hope that you can find the support and care that you are looking for here hun. There are so many wonderful people within this community.

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