Sometimes I become so fustrated that no one cares what i am going through that i lose control and cut myself. sometimes for dramatic affect but sometimes because i deserve it/ it is the only thing that seems legitametly equal to how i feel. the first time i did it i cut myself so deep that 5 years later i still have a large scar. the first time i did it i wanted to die. i was not thinking. but i did it the wrong way becasue i didnt know anybetter. strange but i really dont think anyone truely cares for me. i have a tendency to dislike people who try to be good to me. its like as soon as they try to be close to me i start finding reasons to dislike them. such as they are too fat, they are weird. then when people are rude and mean to me i like them. i just cant feel connected to people. i took a government issued personality test and my top strength was connectedness. it said i needed to feel connected to people. I NEVER FEEL CONNECTED TO PEOPLE??