When you can't be together

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by SAVE_ME, Jun 3, 2009.

  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    It absolutely kills when you love someone with all your heart, and they love you back, but you can't be together because something as stupid as 'distance' gets in the way. F*ck it! Just f*ck it! Why couldn't I have been born closer to her? Why can't we live closer?! Why's it gotta be like this?! Seriously, it's f*cked up! We can't officially become a couple until we meet in person but the rate my life's going, I'm never going to get to meet her! Why?!! Damn it!! WHY??!!
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Why won't you ever get to meet her?
    Does she not want to be a couple until you meet or have you both decided on this? If you love each other, isn't that enough to keep you going until you can finally meet.
  3. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Well, we went for an online relationship before which lasted about a year, then we broke up. Then about a month ago she opened up about her true feelings for me, but we decided to hold off on anything further until we meet. I would love nothing more than to meet with her. I mean, I have some money stashed away that I was saving up the last time we were dating, so I dunno. Should I go for it and suggest a meeting? I was thinking of flying out to see her next summer or something, I dunno.
  4. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    I am in love with a man in another state... and it kills me... because I think that is one reason he is running from me... he is afraid ot love me back because of the distance... so yeah, it's killing me! I kind of know what you're feeling about that... love and distance is awful!
  5. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I have the same problem also. The guy I want to be with lives in Canada and I in London, and neither of us are in a position to move to be with each other or to even afford a visit. So the fact that you have the money to go and see her in person means you are in a WAY better position than me! I say go for it!
    You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Take the plunge, because you never know what might happen when you meet. She might decide to pack up and come over, or you may find a way to do the same.
    Take the chance!
  6. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I suggested the possibility of meeting next summer to her and she thinks it's a great idea. Can't go this summer cause I'm gonna be busy doing resits and what not, plus by then I hope to have a bit extra saved up. Gives me something to look forward to over the coming months anyway. I was just in a real mess earlier. I mean, I really love this girl to death! We have a lot in common, and I dunno, it's as though we were made for each other lol. And it really pisses me off when the people who do get to be together take their relationships for granted. I'd kill to be in their position.
  7. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    long distance relationships are difficult, but they can work.

    when we fall in love, does time, space, distance, really matter?

    the heart and soul transcend distance.
  8. Tavil

    Tavil Well-Known Member

    I know how this feels all too well.
    Just about every girl ive ever had feelings for lived too far away from me. :(
    Including one here who id ask out if i lived in her country.
  9. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    Whatever you do, make sure that your love interest wants to be with you the same way. Make sure they are not with anyone else because it is so not fair to wreck a relationship no matter how much you want to be with them. I speak from experience. I've been obsessed with this guy for a long time and I am just now trying to get over him. I've realized that I've worked him up so much in my head that I began to believe he wanted me too. All he had ever been to me was an online friend that I met out of country. A part of me still wants to move and be with him but I know that's my obsession talkin. I know he has a girlfriend and he never gave any indication that he felt the same way about me that I began to feel about him. This all blows. It still hurts but I have to accept the truth in order to move on so I won't hurt myself any more.

    I know this thread is older but did any of you made a move to meet the other person? what happend?
  10. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    We got back together a couple of days ago but I broke it off again today cause I just couldn't deal with my fucking family poking their fucking noses in shit that doesn't concern them, telling me who I should and shouldn't see.....seriously, I hope they're fucking happy now...bloody fuckers
  11. 12years

    12years Well-Known Member

    ...this is why you don't look for love on the Internet.

    Online chemistry doesn't always translate into real-life chemistry anyway. I don't know what your family said to you, but they may be on to something. Try to listen to them sometimes--sometimes they DO know what's best for you.

    No, it doesn't. But why does love seem to be everyone's highest priority? Love is a part of life, not everything there is to life.
  12. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    But thats not to say it never does. To be honest, though, if you were willing to end your relationship with her simply because your family were giving you trouble over it, I'm not certain you should have been together. So maybe, in this case, they do know whats best for you, as quoted above.
  13. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    I agree. You'd appreciate the time you had together so much more when you knew that you'd have to return home again before long, though if you truly love them, no one would get in between you. It shouldn't make a difference what your family think, it's none of their business. It's not a real good reason to break up with her either, it's likely to make her feel you're taking it out on her (I may be wrong). Think about whether you really do love her or not. If you do, your family won't get in the way of you two being with each other, and neither will the distance.
  14. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    That really sucks. Your family needs to give you space and let you make your own decisions. I know so many people whose families get in the way of their relationships.

    I think you should have stuck with your personal decision. Your happiness matters in the end.
  15. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    You're right about the difference between real love and online love. The guy I still have struggles over is mostly an online contact, but I met him in person first. Over time I began fantasizing about a relationship with him. I had to end my fixation for many reasons. I also know it is wrong to barge in on someone's life when they already have a girlfriend. He is still dating this woman. It still makes me bitter, but I know it's my issue and I have to get over it. I am still trying to do that.
  16. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    But if you're willing to allow your family to "get in the way" of your relationship, it doesn't really seem like love to me..
  17. ZGMFX10AFreedom

    ZGMFX10AFreedom New Member

    When you can't be together is never the question because sometimes love holds though and give you the best time of your life. and dramatic.
    My bf and I are going on an year now and well for the first few months I was struggling with online contacts. I think i had 4 other guys i would "die" to be with and well it was hard to break up with them. Having showed them an side of me that some people would pay millions for. :lol!:But my Bf right now is in South Carolina and I am in Wisconsin. I'm stuck up here in a dorm room and no money cause college sucks it all up. :dry: but hey :poo: I look at this as my devotion to him and his love. :cool: I just wish though i can feel his touch and love in person cause he is my first.

    So live your life for what you feel is right. talk to your other and see if you can meet half way or even give them the best birthday present ever. ^.^
    good luck and live on. :rockon::pokeball::sleepy::tongue:
  18. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Sorry, but I don't "allow" them to....they're just very good at sticking their big fat noses where they're not wanted...one of the reasons I moved out is to get away from them and their Nazi rules...seriously, you can't help who you fall for so if they don't like it they know where the door is. From now on I won't be replying to their messages or phone calls if they're gonna be like this. I just want them to be happy for me.
  19. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    My mistake. I assumed that you'd broken up with her?
  20. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Ok ok, so I guess I do let them dictate my life, but it isn't as black and white as that. Doesn't mean I don't love her.

    Umm...how can I say this without sounding like an ass?

    Belive me. I want a relationship with her so bad! But I want to be happy! I don't wanna be looking over my shoulder worried about what other people are saying/thinking....I hate it, it's just impossible to enjoy any kind of relationship when they're poking their noses in my business. And they're my family. It's easy to say "oh but you shouldn't be concerned by what others think"...it's not that easy! And even though I don't always see eye to eye with them I care about them and don't wanna cause any friction between us. Seriously, I just don't wanna fall out with them. Another reason I'm sort of waiting it out is because I was hurt badly the first time it ended....still haven't really gotten over it to be quite honest with you, but yeah, I'd be absolutely devastated if I went in head first without thinking and then it crashed and burned a second time.

    And I can't help it! I'm just one of those people who cares too much about what other people are saying and thinking about me, and I take things to heart.

    I do love her. Why are people so hellbent on proving that I don't? It's just not as black and white as you're making it out to be. Things are complicated at the moment.

    Doesn't anyone see where I'm coming from here?
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 22, 2009