When you know your f***ing up at that moment

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by BlondRedHead, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    I've written a few threads talking about being suicidal, depressed and completely done with my BF situation. The story where BF isn't ready to commit so breaks up but you still date but he reminds you you're "just friends" and you keep doing it because he says he might come around. If you're still with me thanks.

    Eddie and I have had our ups and downs and I just moved to this new city for him only to have him bail. It's been devastating and I have not been dealing in a healthy way. But then yesterday... he calls and is like oh come to this party and hang with us. Come to this bar and hang with us. I go and realize I am kind of the DD, him and all his friends are trashed. At the bar he tells me if I am bored to go home, he will taxi it home but his friends aren't total douche bags and tell him we need to go and apologize to me and thank me for driving everyone home. He comes to my place and we have sex, only he wont kiss me and doesn't look at me. In the morning we start again and he is hung over so says later. Then he wakes up and asks for a BJ. I give him one and he leaves me totally unsatisfied (and lying there naked damnit) and goes to buy ciggs. Today in bed we are watching movies, during commercial breaks he asks for ice cream, for soda, for this n that. I say no and he tells me tht doing things for him is kind of my thing. He has no respect for me anymore. We have sex again and he just stops and goes to sleep. I am sitting here on my computer at 9:30 at night next to a gorgeous naked man I am so in love with and he is a total asshole. Like I know he is a douche bag. Most people are like don't let him do this to you but I think I need to. I think I need to deal with him being selfish to finally get me over him. Like when I think about us ending I can't breathe but with all his BS he's been pulling I can start to move on.

    I should wake his ass up and make him go home. Out of my house, out of my life. I am in one of those moments where I'm are fucking up and I know it.
     
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    yeah, it does sound like he is using you and mistreating you

    maybe you could talk to a relationship counselor or a therapist about this

    it's not bad for him to get what he wants in the relationship. what is wrong is that you are not getting what you need or want, and that he seems to be perfectly happy to get what he wants at your expense

    do you think that this relationship is something that could be salvaged?

    are you going to be ok if you leave him?

    if you can do it, maybe you could be clear to him about what needs to go on in the relationship in order for you to be happy.

    I think he needs to admit to what he has done wrong, apologize, and change his ways

    if he can't do that, it would probably be best to leave him. as long as he knows that he can get away with not respecting you, he will probably continue to not respect you

    it might help to work out ahead of time how you would deal with the situation if you left him

    in the long run it might be better to leave him, but only if you can get through the short run
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun he is using you okay break off the ties hun move on find someone that you deserve okay someone that will care for you and respect you hugs
     
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Definitely using you.

    Just good friends don't have sex.

    Honest men will have a relationship and actually say I don't love you.

    Most will just keep the sex going until they can throw you away and get a new one.

    If a man cared about you - well - taking you out with his douche bag mates?

    If he has mates like that - its a BAD sign.

    Would you want this man to be the father of your kids?

    Even with contraception - it can happen.

    Casual sex - its ok till your mid twenties - and for women - its more of an emotional risk - but your lucky - its early days - you will not remember him in a few weeks.

    Take his number out your phone.
    put his email addys in the email software banned list
    call block on the main phone.

    Think about it - let your head rule your heart.

    A few weeks - he will not matter.

    Don't be tempted to communicate.

    Let it end.

    Your not being treated nicely to say the very least.

    Sorry to have read this - but - its reality - and it happens - but we move on.

    Regards