I've written a few threads talking about being suicidal, depressed and completely done with my BF situation. The story where BF isn't ready to commit so breaks up but you still date but he reminds you you're "just friends" and you keep doing it because he says he might come around. If you're still with me thanks. Eddie and I have had our ups and downs and I just moved to this new city for him only to have him bail. It's been devastating and I have not been dealing in a healthy way. But then yesterday... he calls and is like oh come to this party and hang with us. Come to this bar and hang with us. I go and realize I am kind of the DD, him and all his friends are trashed. At the bar he tells me if I am bored to go home, he will taxi it home but his friends aren't total douche bags and tell him we need to go and apologize to me and thank me for driving everyone home. He comes to my place and we have sex, only he wont kiss me and doesn't look at me. In the morning we start again and he is hung over so says later. Then he wakes up and asks for a BJ. I give him one and he leaves me totally unsatisfied (and lying there naked damnit) and goes to buy ciggs. Today in bed we are watching movies, during commercial breaks he asks for ice cream, for soda, for this n that. I say no and he tells me tht doing things for him is kind of my thing. He has no respect for me anymore. We have sex again and he just stops and goes to sleep. I am sitting here on my computer at 9:30 at night next to a gorgeous naked man I am so in love with and he is a total asshole. Like I know he is a douche bag. Most people are like don't let him do this to you but I think I need to. I think I need to deal with him being selfish to finally get me over him. Like when I think about us ending I can't breathe but with all his BS he's been pulling I can start to move on. I should wake his ass up and make him go home. Out of my house, out of my life. I am in one of those moments where I'm are fucking up and I know it.