When you turn retard

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by OCDNihilism, Jul 7, 2016.

  1. OCDNihilism

    OCDNihilism Well-Known Member

    I have turned retard. I suffered a "metamorphosis" for a "Human not enough Human". I wake out on my bed, dreading my state, on a paralizing way. I struggle to get me out of the sheets, but my brain is clawing me to the pillow.
    I can now distinguish that my head, while mantaing the same mass it once occupied, is now a thousand times heavier. I feel exhausted! I dissuade myself of trying to leaving this place where at least my head is already rested, well at least in a physical way. I couldn't ever fancy to pass a day of my life on wich my head would be lower than my feet, where my condition both spiritual and physically was so debilitating and descouraging.. But.. My family would certainly find it strange that I didn't at least present myself for lunch, even if with a still unwashed face like so many times haf happened before, when I got up seconds before I break my fast with a full plate of unsuited foods for a empty stomach.. I must get up, I couldn't explain to my parents that I was suffering from something I could not trace any fault or reason to exist. I couldn't face them coming to my room expecting an explanation that I couldn't offer. I had to get up, so I did...

    "To be continued.."
    Fading_Awayy likes this.
  2. Fading_Awayy

    Fading_Awayy SF Supporter

    Really Hope you feel better man , and keep writing and venting , Hugs
  3. OCDNihilism

    OCDNihilism Well-Known Member

    I have sucumb to the absurdism, more exactly, how absurd I am and so forth my life. I am trying to sketch a parallel with "Metamorphosis" by Kafka, trying to illustrate what it means to live an ordinary life with the consequences of depression and anxiety, but like the title suggests I became retard.. So this text will be sometimes actually feel not only absurd, but worse than illogical, pathetic and probably full of all kinds of mistakes. I guess it's a new style of literature. :)