Forget about suicide brother - I mean, we all think about it sometimes - I mean people not depressed also - especially when it comes to love. However, the thing with love is that we really have to find someone who feels the same about us. Falling in love with someone who does not reciprocate or return that love - is painful, but I think most of us will go through that.
It does not mean the girl you wanted is cruel. She obviously thought you attractive and a man who has qualities which woman like. But with love, its not a woman's fault if she does not fall in love with you.
It hurts I know, but life goes on - another woman will catch your eye or you hers. Maybe next time you might break up and maybe you see someone then who felt like you did. At least this will teach you never to use a women. Break up as soon as you know she is not the right one - don't take advantage and pretend. I could never do this but I know many who would have no such qualms!
After a while we realise that it was the right thing NOT to be with someone who, would doubtless make things worse. Better to lose someone WAY before you get married and have to go through breaking up with someone and having a bunch of bloodsucking lawyers and family courts and officialdom organising things.
My main concern is your dads drinking. He must be about the same age as me - pity he was not in my local pub as I always let people I know what I think when their drink effects the ability to be a father and family man.
I don't drink, because I've NEVER seen a drug with the power to destroy lives like alcohol does. Nothing seems to encourage violence and abusive behaviour like booze. Of course not everyone is that way inclined - my own family has had many trouble free parties - but its the guest list that counts. No idiots allowed - apart from me.
I was a happy drunk myself - but gave up regardless.
Now and again, I do drink. Every few years, I have a little snifter.
Your dad needs to stop drinking - but its like a disease and the last person to acknowledge the destructive behaviour and abusive behaviour is the person affected. Maybe you can talk to him when he is 'sober' but for a lot of drunks, being 'sober' is just having a hangover - and its hard for people with hangovers to have a basic conversation let alone an emotionally charged conversation regarding his behaviour.
How is your mum in all this? I worry for her and for most men, if the wife cannot talk sense, maybe he needs threatening with being kicked out. I know this as people I know who do drink a lot have had this happen. A sober wife, will kick out some drunk husband with the ultimatum that he stops or gets his own place.
Hard as it sounds, this would give your mother and you a bit of peace and the support you need need. A home should be a place in which you find some peace, were you can confide about your troubles. I'm sure you would be able to help your mother a lot and the house would be a more happy environment without him being drunk.
I hope your dad can get a control of his drinking habits.
Apart from this - how is he as a father and husband? Was he good when he was not this way?
Keep your own spirits up, without using spirits! Booze would make you like that also - taking out your troubles on your poor mum like your father is.
I hope he gets better - and don't ruminate over WHY this girl never chose you. The point is that she chose you just by looking - and a basic assessment. Therefore other woman also will at least find you to be handsome or the sort of guy who is fun to be with.
You will likely find another woman just looking 'cool' hanging out somewhere. Not even working for it!
People like me, we gotta work hard bro - I can't stand about looking 'cool'
Anyhow, best of luck and good wishes for the year ahead.
Regards.
im starting to go back to my darkest days when i wanted deaths release.
