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When your dad's a ass hole

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by manicmuse12, May 20, 2011.

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  1. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    I've been feeling suicidal for about three months now, and like most people on here i have good days and bad days! (but mainly bad) the main reasons for the way i feel is due to breaking up with my long term girlfriend and now to make things a hundred times worse, my dad is turning into a total ass and he has no passion or sympathy for what im going through! all he does is get drunk and shout and swear and me and my mum :( im starting to go back to my darkest days when i wanted deaths release.
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    hey hun,

    I'm really sorry to hear about your breakup. :console:

    And I know how awful it is to have someone who is suppose to care and help you through stuff (like a breakup) make it worse instead. Are you able to talk to your mom about what happened? Its good to have at least one person to talk to about stuff.

    If you need to talk feel free to PM me anytime.
  3. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    It's a fearful disheartening thing to be dealing with a breakup while at the same time dealing with a parent who is abusive either physically or verbally. It seems to crush ones peace of mind and self-esteem. Try your best to ignore the idiocy of your father, but if his actions make you feel as if you are in danger you need to call the police. Your safety is more important.

    I am sorry that you are going through these emotional pains driven by the breakup and your dad's drinking. Many on this site can easily empathize with you. Many here are glad to offer an ear and advice. You can always PM me if you want.

    I hope things in your life start to change and you start to feel better. :hug: 2 u
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Forget about suicide brother - I mean, we all think about it sometimes - I mean people not depressed also - especially when it comes to love. However, the thing with love is that we really have to find someone who feels the same about us. Falling in love with someone who does not reciprocate or return that love - is painful, but I think most of us will go through that.

    It does not mean the girl you wanted is cruel. She obviously thought you attractive and a man who has qualities which woman like. But with love, its not a woman's fault if she does not fall in love with you.

    It hurts I know, but life goes on - another woman will catch your eye or you hers. Maybe next time you might break up and maybe you see someone then who felt like you did. At least this will teach you never to use a women. Break up as soon as you know she is not the right one - don't take advantage and pretend. I could never do this but I know many who would have no such qualms!

    After a while we realise that it was the right thing NOT to be with someone who, would doubtless make things worse. Better to lose someone WAY before you get married and have to go through breaking up with someone and having a bunch of bloodsucking lawyers and family courts and officialdom organising things.

    My main concern is your dads drinking. He must be about the same age as me - pity he was not in my local pub as I always let people I know what I think when their drink effects the ability to be a father and family man.

    I don't drink, because I've NEVER seen a drug with the power to destroy lives like alcohol does. Nothing seems to encourage violence and abusive behaviour like booze. Of course not everyone is that way inclined - my own family has had many trouble free parties - but its the guest list that counts. No idiots allowed - apart from me.

    I was a happy drunk myself - but gave up regardless.

    Now and again, I do drink. Every few years, I have a little snifter.

    Your dad needs to stop drinking - but its like a disease and the last person to acknowledge the destructive behaviour and abusive behaviour is the person affected. Maybe you can talk to him when he is 'sober' but for a lot of drunks, being 'sober' is just having a hangover - and its hard for people with hangovers to have a basic conversation let alone an emotionally charged conversation regarding his behaviour.

    How is your mum in all this? I worry for her and for most men, if the wife cannot talk sense, maybe he needs threatening with being kicked out. I know this as people I know who do drink a lot have had this happen. A sober wife, will kick out some drunk husband with the ultimatum that he stops or gets his own place.

    Hard as it sounds, this would give your mother and you a bit of peace and the support you need need. A home should be a place in which you find some peace, were you can confide about your troubles. I'm sure you would be able to help your mother a lot and the house would be a more happy environment without him being drunk.

    I hope your dad can get a control of his drinking habits.

    Apart from this - how is he as a father and husband? Was he good when he was not this way?

    Keep your own spirits up, without using spirits! Booze would make you like that also - taking out your troubles on your poor mum like your father is.

    I hope he gets better - and don't ruminate over WHY this girl never chose you. The point is that she chose you just by looking - and a basic assessment. Therefore other woman also will at least find you to be handsome or the sort of guy who is fun to be with.

    You will likely find another woman just looking 'cool' hanging out somewhere. Not even working for it!

    People like me, we gotta work hard bro - I can't stand about looking 'cool'

    Anyhow, best of luck and good wishes for the year ahead.

  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I hope you don't start drinking... Alcoholism is hereditary..My ex's side of the family are all major alcoholics... Now it seems I have lost my daughter to it also..I feel sorry for my grandaughter because she has to play mom when my daughter comes home drunk..The only way your dad is going to quit is if he wants to..I agree with PLG that your mom should boot him out..That might give him the incentive to give it up..As far as your ex goes it wasn't ment to be.. She has made up her mind to move on, so you need to do the same.. You sound like a very educated youg man so you shouldn't have to look to hard for your true love..Your in the greif stage right now, and then anger comes next..Just don't loose your cool..Jusdo some positive self talk and controlled breathing..I wish you the best..
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    what is your relationship like with your mom?

    hopefully she understands that what is going on is not ok

    you might want to check out this resource for both of you

    National Domestic Violence Hotline
    24 hour hotline phone: 800.799.SAFE (800.799.7233)
    who they help: victims, survivors, family, parents, friends, offenders, community leaders. A resource to anyone who may have concerns about relationship being unhealthy or abusive, and it does not matter whether they are dating or married, living together or not.

    if you are in the states. there are other resources elsewhere

    I hope that things work out!

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