when your method arrives

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wunderwood, Jan 16, 2009.

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  1. wunderwood

    wunderwood Well-Known Member

    Yesterday I got what I want to go out with. It's strange and a little exciting. I still need to determine there where and when part of all this, but i've just never felt such a weird sort of happiness and sadness. I feel like I have some power back.

    anyone else relate?
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I can relate in that when I am planning suicide I feel a calm and sense of power. I haven't actually gotten what I need for it yet, or have a plan intact.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Haven't had to think about method, I have had that for years. As far as time I was all set for New Years and had some friends here talk me out of it. Now that I am all down again I have to sike myself back up so I don't know.
  4. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i was so calm before my latest atempt. it was almost worth staying for if i could live in that bliss and hapiness. but when i failed. it was back to horribleness again :dry:
  5. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    I always have plans, they just never work for me.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    Yes,I can totally relate to that. It's feeling the calm before the storm. I hope you don't go through with it :hug:
  7. anonymouse

    anonymouse Active Member

    I've had my method for a month now. Then again, I've been feeling that calm for much much longer. I do agree though, it was subtle but more present when it was obtained.
  8. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I have had a calm too before and during ann attempt. I wonder if that's how they feel when someone is about to be executed???
  9. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    Is it against protocol here to ask what this method is that has you so calm?

    Anyway, hopefully you start getting a little nervous about it and decide not to go through with it. You may have solvable problems but either way, it seems like almost everyone who is on here that sticks around seems to be helping others in their shoes.
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Unfortunately, it is against SF rules to discuss methods, although, I'm also curious as to what the method is. :unsure:
  11. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    actually, indeed it did make me calm. It was a huge relief that i knew i was that much closer to doing it, so it was a comfort thing. Plus my supplies are... well... unique getting, so it was a relief i could pull it off too.
  12. downmage

    downmage Well-Known Member

    methods?? I have had a couple of ways of checking out but they never have worked for me. Most of the time I just wish I could just get sick and die..but thats' sort of a pipe-dream..
  13. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    This sounds like some MacGyver stuff.
  14. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    id probably need a <methods> but I am kind of scared to get it, if I had a<methods> with the desk here I am afraid the temptation to <methods> would be to much
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2009
  15. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    Fortunately for my method I need a <methods> a genuine 16th century mahogany grandfather clock, <methods>

    So it might be a while before I get around to setting things up. :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2009
  16. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Sounds interesting. Doesn't look like you will be be attempting anytime soon, so that's a good thing :biggrin:

    The calm before the storm is exactly how I feel, I don't have everything I need but most of the things I need and wanted to do I have done. So I feel that it's only a matter of time before I can try once again, atm it's a nice feeling and I hope it remains that way when I actually try it so I don't mess up.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2009
  17. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    Yeah I think that's a natural reaction.

    With me it was like, well this is it everything is over soon. Then I had your feelings about it at first. Trying to deal with that concept is difficult in some ways cause I want to live.

    The calm, the sense of power, the relief, is all replaced by something else now...

    See I started to get technical into the details of how it would go exactly and precisely to plan it, and I started to realize this is actually horrible. I'm going to do this to myself and it's just such a horrible damaging murder of my body and most likely anything but enjoyable.

    And for what? Would I never get to hear the music, see the next movie, would I never get to enjoy another meal? Would I never get to look up at the sky and the stars and the trees. How would it feel to be dead?

    It really started to disturb me more than anything cutting my life off. Especially mutilating myself even if quickly or painlessly began to feel like such a horrible experience. This fantasy of ending my life in control with that power and relief from all the problems and pain. This fantasy began to turn into what was realistically a nightmare of how it would actually be to kill myself.

    And so no, I cant say it feels good or that it's a good comfortable feeling anymore. It's just as horrible as anything and i wish I didn't have to do it, and I have being trying to delay it. It's just as horrible as murdering any animal or person. I may even let myself <methods>first. A great deal I will do to avoid this. Despite the mountain of issues I am facing.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2009
  18. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    We're really not supposed to discussing suicide methods here. :unsure:
  19. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    Then I suppose there's no point mentioning that my method also requires the fossilized skeleton of a velociraptor (though a stegosaurus will do in a pinch). Anybody know where I can get one reasonably cheap?
  20. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    I saw one at a museum one time... they dont even have price tags on those things.... i think only reason noone takes em home cause they are too big to fit in the car

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