Most of us have probably felt this. I wanted it to end so badly, a few days ago. I mean if I live so alone already, why put myself through the pain of just seeing other people live such better lives. It kills me inside, to know how empty I am. How I have nothing, nothing to offer to this world. Not even a decent character to display. It kills me to have dreams. Having a dream and having that feeling of euphoric possibility but then eventually seeing it get washed away. And then falling deeper. I hate school. I hate it. It depresses me so much, just to go and see other people with all their friends that they can hold onto. It even hurts more to see couples walking around. The only thing that made life actually seem worth it was being in love but after years when you watch every second yourself of love dieing, there is really nothing to believe in except false hopes and overthetop dreams. I wish I could stay alone forever, so I wouldn't feel this pain. Ive tried to change, maybe not hard enough but enough for me to say... "Fuck this, not like anyone cares about my life." I feel so empty and Ive tried holding a knife to myself, tried to end it but Im too scared of the pain, and the deeper emptiness that comes with it. And the self-created anxiety in my head that puts me down even more. I know probably resting will make me feel good, but never better.