When you've about tried all meds out there...and you're only getting worse.

Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by catecholamine, Mar 12, 2015.

  1. catecholamine

    catecholamine Well-Known Member

    I don't remember if I was 20 or 21 when I had my first manic episode. I spent 20/21 - 23yrs old in and out of psych wards. I had to drop out of school because I was involuntarily hospitalized every other week, just about. I had a 3.8 GPA(4.0 = straight A record), was on the dean's list, in the honor's society. Then I lost all of it. I was semi-stable for about a year and a half, after literally dozens of meds and 11 sessions of ECT - shock treatments(didn't help). I was never well enough to go back to school, because even a little stress made me break. Then I started developing new symptoms....symptoms of schizophrenia. Slowly, my antipsychotic began to not work well. Then my antidepressant followed. I've tried about every med out there except MAOIs - and my doc would never rx me them, too easy to harm yourself, even not on purpose. They interact with everything. That said, I was put on a medication of last resort at the end of Dec 2014, Clozaril - it is a last line of treatment for schizoaffective (combo bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, which is what I have) and schizophrenics who are suicidal and other meds and treatments have failed. You have to be put in a registry. Every week, you must get blood work to make sure you white blood cell count hasn't been nuked and made you get a fatal infection. When the registry gets that weeks results, it tells the pharmacy they are allowed to dispense another 7 days worth. Repeat every week.

    The clozaril helps keep a lot of the psychosis and mania at bay....but it makes me sleep up to 20hrs a day. The other day, I slept 27hrs straight (though that is the longest yet). So sometimes I quit it for a few days just so I won't sleep my life away...but I get manic pretty quick and it's unpleasant.

    What I'm getting at here, is I'm about out of options. I have been more depressed the past week that I recall ever having been. I can't even take care of myself - not eating, barely drinking. I'm so dehydrated that I almost passed out this morning - vision starting going black, and I had to flop to the floor right where I was or I'd have lost consciousness in a few more seconds. This happens to me when I get dehydrated. So I'm trying to up my fluid intake, at least.
    I've no more options left. No hope. I told my case manager so, and the best he could come up with is "you never know, they might come out with a new medicine..." ..a new medicine that just happens to magically work where the dozen and dozens of others have not? I see that as very unlikely.

    Are there any treatments I missing here? I had 2 therapists tell me I didn't need therapy. My mental illnesses are getting worse as time goes on. I feel no hope.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would think CBT and DBT would help you gain some control with the depression with the emotions and thoughts you feel it could not harm you to try therapy along with you medication It is said these therapies do help people with schizophrenia
  3. bayareagirl

    bayareagirl Well-Known Member

    My psychiatrist has talked to me about Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) for treatment resistant depression. Wonder if you could find out if it would be an appropriate treatment option for you. Have you considered residential treatment programs? it's tough with insurance but with the number of hospitalizations you've had, there could be an argument for that kind of treatment. Good luck - sorry things are so rough and I can't believe 2 therapists would tell you you don't need therapy when you've just described this situation!
  4. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    Your story sounds about the same as mine. I've also been on Clozaril, but it didn't help me at all. I'm not even sure whether my problem is Schizophrenia. I think that my brain may just be damaged. I really see no hope anymore. It's just so hard for me to accept that there is nothing that they can do for me. Suicide is the only option left for me.
  5. catecholamine

    catecholamine Well-Known Member

    I've done CBT and DBT both. Didn't do anything for me. My insurance won't cover TMS or any other treatments it considers "experimental".