I don't remember if I was 20 or 21 when I had my first manic episode. I spent 20/21 - 23yrs old in and out of psych wards. I had to drop out of school because I was involuntarily hospitalized every other week, just about. I had a 3.8 GPA(4.0 = straight A record), was on the dean's list, in the honor's society. Then I lost all of it. I was semi-stable for about a year and a half, after literally dozens of meds and 11 sessions of ECT - shock treatments(didn't help). I was never well enough to go back to school, because even a little stress made me break. Then I started developing new symptoms....symptoms of schizophrenia. Slowly, my antipsychotic began to not work well. Then my antidepressant followed. I've tried about every med out there except MAOIs - and my doc would never rx me them, too easy to harm yourself, even not on purpose. They interact with everything. That said, I was put on a medication of last resort at the end of Dec 2014, Clozaril - it is a last line of treatment for schizoaffective (combo bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, which is what I have) and schizophrenics who are suicidal and other meds and treatments have failed. You have to be put in a registry. Every week, you must get blood work to make sure you white blood cell count hasn't been nuked and made you get a fatal infection. When the registry gets that weeks results, it tells the pharmacy they are allowed to dispense another 7 days worth. Repeat every week. The clozaril helps keep a lot of the psychosis and mania at bay....but it makes me sleep up to 20hrs a day. The other day, I slept 27hrs straight (though that is the longest yet). So sometimes I quit it for a few days just so I won't sleep my life away...but I get manic pretty quick and it's unpleasant. What I'm getting at here, is I'm about out of options. I have been more depressed the past week that I recall ever having been. I can't even take care of myself - not eating, barely drinking. I'm so dehydrated that I almost passed out this morning - vision starting going black, and I had to flop to the floor right where I was or I'd have lost consciousness in a few more seconds. This happens to me when I get dehydrated. So I'm trying to up my fluid intake, at least. I've no more options left. No hope. I told my case manager so, and the best he could come up with is "you never know, they might come out with a new medicine..." ..a new medicine that just happens to magically work where the dozen and dozens of others have not? I see that as very unlikely. Are there any treatments I missing here? I had 2 therapists tell me I didn't need therapy. My mental illnesses are getting worse as time goes on. I feel no hope.