Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, Sep 23, 2016.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    When does it get better?
    When do the flashbacks stop?
    When will I be able to identify all triggers?
    When will it be possible to get off the roller coaster or even slow it down?
    When do I stop feeling like a lost being, an empty being?
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter


    I wish I could tell you, but keep holding on. It can get better; maybe it takes time and it might take some work but I believe you can get there!
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs. Try to keep yourself grounded or distracted. You can get thru this.
  4. Wiltingone

    Wiltingone Well-Known Member

    As hard as it is. Deal with it now or it can haunt you for decades. Years later it can feel like yesterday. I wish I had been able to deal with it years ago. Even "professionals" can't seem to grasp how much something which may seem minor to others has such impact years later. This is why I searched for this type of site. People who haven't experienced this just don't get it.
    Thauoy likes this.
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you all for responding. For some stuff it is decades later, for other stuff a little less time. It all combines into one lump which reduces me to this fumbling, scared idiot.

    Of course I blame myself for some younger things. I can't see how they weren't my fault and that my lack of verbalization didn't help. What could I have done? I didn't know it was wrong. Stupid.

    And for older things, yes, I can see they were in the wrong. But I was too.

    So why struggle with these things and the events and the results so much if I participated both williningly and because it was easier to do so? Isn't that just hypocritical?