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where are the times?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ~PinkElephants~, Oct 15, 2007.

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  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    1. What happened to the times when people actually supported others? Where if a person had a problem everyone rallied around them and tried to help them in any way possible. What happened to the times of people actually giving a shit about others?? I mean actually caring, not the fake bullshit that you see. I remember times when people would come in and actually mean what they say. I am not directing this at anyone in particular. To those that were around a year ago, you know what I'm talking about, whether you say something or not..you know.

    2. What happened to the times when there was general banter in chat that didn't turn into a debate or fight? Those times are long gone. You used to be able to come into chat and just talk...I mean actually talk..and not get screamed at, told to shut up, told to change the subject..etc. People could have a normal, everyday conversation and could also talk about what was bothereing them. Nowadays someone comes in to discuss a health problem and they get told to change the subject. What happened to the days of helping that person, giving them advice. Now it's "this triggers me" or "that triggers me" Is every word known to man triggering? I am not trying to be mean or start anything I'm just curious as to what happened to the days when people could actually talk without getting their heads taken off for actually talking.

    I'm sorry if this upsets anyone...I won't be surprised when it turns into a debate or fight, gets locked or deleted. I just want to voice my opinion and my thoughts because lately the maturity level and the amount of fights in chat are getting ridiculous. For a support site I see more fighting(yes ive been in some and I've tried lately to stay out of them) than support. I see more bickering about pointless dribble, more people arguing about shit that reaelly doesnt matter at the end of the day when there are people begging for someone to just listen to them..not say anything...just listen..but they can't be heard or seen b/c there's fights going over top them

    When does it become to to basically grow up and start helping peopel instead of breaking them down and hindering them from moving on and getting better?? When??
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni


    I agree with you on this post. It obvious to the people that we're here about a year ago. The fights in chat are ridiculous. I've walked into chat a few times and there's people fighting over the most pointless crap imaginable. I do see why you say there is less support in here now days and yes there is less support. There are a few people who do try there best to support others in their hour of need. Chat can be taken a bit too serious, i'm not saying that you can't get help in there, far from it but like Kelly said even general banter gets taken far too seriously and often turns in to another pointless fight.

    Gonna stop my pointless ranting but .... Kelly i do agree with you on those 2 points :hug:
  3. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    I agree there are some ppl who do care and say they care but dont, but there are some who do care. But not like there was before, the arugment thing. PPL feel like they gotta defend everything to ppl and put them donw just to get there point through...Hope they will change :sad:
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    OMG remember when someone would be facing something, interview for job, meeting with therapist etc.... in they would pop, say they were scared, nervous whatever; chat would go on hold and support given for 10mins to whatever time was needed to bolster the one in need and then chat would continue.
    We used to laugh, God forbid we laugh!!
    We used to cry, God forbid we cry!!
    We used to chat..now we fight :mad:

    It is very very sad.
  5. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    I know I used to argue with people, and looking back on it, it was so pointless and stupid. And I agree with both of your points, Kellz, the fighting is getting ridiculous.
  6. ItsAShame

    ItsAShame Guest

    I dunno what happened. All I know is I felt attacked every time I came here and that's why I haven't been on here in like a year or more. But atleast things are better for me now. If only they could be better for everyone. :(
  7. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    glad everyone sees my point and hopefully there will come a point where things do change for the better :grouphug:
  8. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I agree... how times have changed..
  9. I wasn't here a year ago so I don't know what it was like.

    But everyone one who has posted in this thread can't moan about how times have changed, that no one seems to care about anyone else when you are exactly the same.
    How many of you actually help someone else in chat?

    For the original post I've seen you in chat moaning that no one seems to help you but you are exactly the same with other people.

    I know of 1 person who is scared to go back in chat now because of being attacked by at lease 1 person who has posted in this thread.
  10. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I like to think that I help folks around the forum, support them etc. I know I do on MSN a lot :)

    I don't know who you are, someone who is mad, but if you log back in and feel like PMing me, or another member of staff with who the other member is (and they're agreeable to it), we can try and help sort the situation out, as SF is meant for support: no-one should feel scared to go back into chat for fear of attack..

    Does anyone have any ideas with what to do, to get the supportive vibes back in chat?
  11. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I pm peeople all the time whn they aree in chat. If you want me to get a list of names together of ppl i have talked to and tried to help I will. People can't help everyone 100% of the time but there are times when all it is is arguing. I never said I was perfect either. go read some of my otheer threads I'm far from it. Why not post under your real name??
  12. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    I'd like to think I help others. If someone goes in a room by themselves, I'll PM them if I feel up to it, I can not possibly help everyone, all the time.
    Kellz tries to help everyone, I know she does, because lots of times, we're talking when she does. No one should be scared to go back into chat because of one fight, I doubt anyone who has posted in this thread, myself included, has attacked anyone without a decent reason..Just my $0.02.
  13. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    It's all relative. For me (I've only been on here for a few days :blink:) it seems like a very supportive group, as I'm comparing it to the real world around me, where there's next to no support mechanism for me, and no-one to listen.

    To those who have been around for a long time, I think it's important that although to you it does not seem to have the same atmosphere, to anyone new it is a welcome step to an environment where they are not constantly ridiculed/put down for saying how they feel.

  14. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I would just like to say that Kelly does try help as much as she possibly can. Shes sat and talked to me numerous times. I've been there where shes putting her self in a state in order to help other people and i don't think its fair for you to say she doesn't help anyone.
  15. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Thank you Vikki. That means alot to me. :hug: Love and miss u tons. I will sing my snowman song for you lol. U and ur arse
  16. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Thank you Jess. Appreciate it as well :hug: u know wheere to find me..lol
  17. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    There's enough compassion fatigue to go around. You can only take so much of your hearing your friends on SF hurt themselves, threaten to kill themselves or hearing them talk about making the same mistakes that previously took you 2 hours to get them to admit were mistakes and that they said they'd never do again. It'll desensitize you at first, and start to aggravate after a while, even if you dont realize it.
  18. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    :hug: John. :wub: da hotdog
  19. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Terry remember the laughs we had OMG...we were dorks. Loved yah then still do now. Glad we're still friends through all the chaos
  20. Fade

    Fade Guest

    Ride the waves and try not to get sucked under

    it's all i recon. new people come new people go, it's always going to change. I doubt it will ever go back, and probably that's a good thing. There's what's here and here's something we can make the best out of. I donno, guess just do your best not to get sucked into the routine of peoples negative patterns and bold true to your own calm.
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