Where did the numbness go?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ThornThatNeverHeals, Mar 8, 2011.

  1. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    Whats the point of the human relations? Other animals are so lucky, solitary most of the year. Why cant we be like that? im sure they dont feel the pathetic emotions that course through my body. I want to go back to being numb. I was alone, and i cant say i was happy, but i was numb. i didnt feel this pain, i didnt feel the urge this much. Im hoping the pills will make it come, they did last time, please let me go back to it. I dont know anymore, i cant seem to let it all out, i write and write, every form of writing you should think of, poetry, songs, a journal, unsent letters. It will no longer help, nothing does. im all alone in this world, i just want to go numb again. it will come back. it must. if it doesnt i will make it all go. i cant do this anymore, there is too much. People arent for me. maybe im just not for people. i should go, let them live their happy social lives, i shouldnt feel regretful. goddamnit, why do i? i wont. i refuse.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I'm struggling for a reply here.
    I hear you, my son is very much like this, so I definetly hear you.
    Do you know why people give you so much trouble?
    Are you receiving any kind of therapy?

    Understand the wanting numbness, but for all that emotions give pain they at least make you feel alive.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What makes you feel that people aren't for you and you aren't for them?

    Just want you to know I read your post, and my PM box is always open if you feel like talking. Oh, and I like your sig.
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I wish I was numb to it all too...I was and now I cry all the time...I'm so miserable and it hurts to be alive no matter what I do...
  5. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    Im different. That is why they give me trouble. I wont be a sterotype, i wont be another one. I dont want treatment, they only screwed me up worse, and i refuse to go back. I cant deal with people anymore, i can do words, written words and the only way out anymore, and those are closing in. Thanks cherry, i made that poem, it would be to the people in my school who try to inflict pain as much as they can.
  6. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    Hi honey,

    I know you feel alone, and I know that is hard to deal with, but please try and remember that people do love and care about you. You are a wonderful, bright, funny, caring person, even if you don't see that within yourself. I'm so sorry you have to go through this hurt all the time, and I wish I had the magic words, the elusive fix to take it all away. But you have to keep fighting hon. I understand why you yearn for that numbness, but when you have it for too long, you forget how to feel. Not just the crappy stuff that no one wants to feel, but the good emotions too. Please keep reaching out to people, because they do care, and want to hear what is going on for you. I know you can do this hon, you have already showed your inner strength.
    Thinking of you

    Much love :hug:
  7. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    thanks ma, thanks ♥