Where did this come from

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, Mar 21, 2009.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Was ok a couple of hours ago.

    Sat here nearly in tears. Feeling so alone. Want to cry but cant because Mum and cousin are downstairs and it's just my luck they would come up as soon as I started.

    Need to feel better before cousin leaves and Mum goes to bed.

    Got blades here. Know I wont have the strength to hold off once they have gone.

    Been fighting since last night, think it's finally wearing me down, every thing I say and do is wrong and it's driving me mad. I know we are both depressed and yeah, tomorrow will be a bad day for both of us, so shouldn't we be helping each other? Not making it worse?

    Even best mate isn't interested tonight :dry: Texted her asking if I could go up cos I don't want to be alone. Got no reply.

    Just sat here waiting to be alone so it can all come out. But I know where that will lead me to :cry:
  2. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    just try to hold on a little longer.... I mean, maybe your friend will get back to you?
    maybe you can find something to distract you, a game or something....
    it sounds like it wont end up nicely, so please don't do it.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    It's 9:30 pm. I wouldn't go out now even if she did get back to me.

    I know where it will end up :sad: It will end up with S/H :sad:

    I made a promise I wouldn't do it, and I don't think I can keep that promise tonight, and that's what hurts more than anything else :sad:
  4. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    Ok, I understand that...
    You really need distraction I guess, I just am
    not familiar with what works, but I guess something that keeps both mind and hands busy...
    at least try, how would it feel if you pass this moment and keep your promise?

    P:S. I bet you're trying your best allready, by the way ;)
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I slept for 20 mins and woke up a little calmer. Think I might watch a film or something. I so don't want to let him down by cutting :sad:

    Thank you for replying hun :hug:
  6. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    no thanks at all, dear :)
    good to have a nap and I hope you found other distractions after that.
    hope you got through the night allright.
    Take good care of you.