It's mental health awareness day. I'm sitting here watching all these famous Canadians sharing their stories of being bi-polar, having panic and anxiety attacks, depression, suicidal...just like me. And they all laud about how they sought out help and now they're "cured". They keep saying how difficult it was for them. But they found support in friends and family and got the best treatment they could afford. First couple of the chapters I seem to be a main character. But then my character gets lost among the pages of words and emotional substance. The key words being getting support. Actual physical persons that you can turn to. And how true, a real person, there physically to say, go grab a coffee with when you're feeling overwhelmed. A strong support system is the major factor as to whether a person recovers or not. Because no one is strong enough to get through to the other side of mental health issues alone. If we could, then we would never of fallen so far down into the darkness in the first place. I have professional help through specialists, therapists etc. I have all the meds. I have no one here, say down the street, to call and say "hey, I just really need to come by for a bit." I have social anxieties and extremely deep trust issues. That "person" is just not a possibility for me. So I sit here, listening to these famous Canadians with their stories of triumphant over their mental health issues. And the more they talk, the more I feel myself slipping away from those that can be saved. I feel like I'll end up being nothing more than an acknowledgment at the end of the book, a statistic like all the others like me. Quickly reading into the last chapter...fingers crawling upon that last page...I want to put the book down, but can't without someone coming by and taking it from my hands. I am so tired.