where do i go from here?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dancingtoforget, Jun 25, 2007.

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  1. hey, so im lost. completely and utterly lost and so far from the person i used to be i dont even know who i am anymore. my problems go back as far as i can remember but my breaking point has come from the end of the most amazing relationship i have ever known. my ex boyfriend has broken up with me after a 2 year relationship because we were too serious. i did everything while we were still together to give him his space and it still wasnt enough. i feel like im always giving so much of my self and it just never comes back. so we broke up. a few days later he said he wanted to get back together. the next day, he informed me he has never said anything like that and we werent back together. so i started to date someone else. i dont think i was really ready for it, but i think i needed it. he came back and said he wanted to get back with me but he couldnt because he was so mad i had been with someone else in the meantime. we fought all night and eventually got back together. the next day at work (yes we work together) he acted pretty normal. when he got off work he texted me and told me it wasnt going to work out because me being with someone else made me a different person. i had already broken it off with the other guy that morning. so now im just as low as anyone can be. i hate my life. the other guy and i made up and are still gonna sort of see each other but hes moving to dallas friday for a job. PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE. i miss my ex so much and im so sad that one person who has been able to fill that void is about to be taken from me as well. why dont i get any say in my life anymore? why do i have to sit at home at night and just cry till i fall asleep? or stare at pictures and old gifts and feel the memories tear me in half? i just want to die. and this is why im here. i dont know where to go from here. i seem to have only one option.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It is always difficult when you have an end to a relationship. yours is further complicated because of the fact you have to still see him ona a daily basis through work. The break up is almost like a death. It is the death of things as you know the. A loss of a significant other. It really doesn't matter that they are still alive. It is still a loss. When we lose someone to death, it is final and we eventually have a sense of closure. With a relationship, you are faced with seeing that person and knowing they are know longer available to you. Gone, but not really. there is not that feeling of closure. You need to give yourself time to grieve the loss of that part of your life. there are tons of options available to you, but you have to be willing to choose them and work toward acheiving new things. You wil begin to desensitize to the pictures and gifts and things. Why don't you take the pictures down and store them in a safe place. You could do the same with the gifts if you want to keep them. If not, give them to a charity. Most of all, remember the good times you had in this realtionship. They are memories worth keeping. I hope this makes a little sense to you. Take out of it what you want and forget the rest. You will be in my thoughts. :hug:
  3. thommo

    thommo New Member

    i feel the same way, i broke up recently with my gf of 3 n half years and thinking about the memories we shared r killing me inside! everything i do reminds me of her and i feel i wont ever love somone the way i loved her again. i know everyone says you will get over them overtime but right now it just doesnt feel like it and although thinking of killing myself makes the pain go away, i just wanna hold on for now.
  4. rd9671

    rd9671 Guest

    I think GL said it best. So i guess I don't have much to add here except that the guy sounds like a jerk. Sounds to me that he was just playing with you in the end with the on again off again thing. It just sounds very controlling to me, like he wanted to hurt you. I know that it seems like the whole world is crashing down, but I must say that you can pick up the pieces and put your life back together better than it was before. hindsight is always 20/20 and you will see that you can become a stronger person in the future.
  5. thank yall so much for the advice, i have already taken all the pics down and the gifts are stuffed in the closet. its getting easier but i still feel like crap on the inside. and i want to stop caring about him and what he does. i hear stories about what hes up to and i get so jealous or hurt and i dont even have the right. thats whats the hardest right now, knowing hes moving on and im just struggling to get by.
  6. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    Hey DTF. I'm sorry that guy played with your emotions that way. Sounds like a jerk. As someone who's not had very much love in my life, it's hard to see a woman treated that way.

    I see you list your location as Texas. How far from Dallas are you? If you still want to try to build something with guy #2, maybe you could visit each other on weekends, and if it turns into something serious, eventually move to Dallas. This would accomplish two things. 1. Get you close to guy #2 and 2. get you away from guy #1.

    Take care. We're always here for you. :hug:
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