Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by FaintOfHearts, Jan 28, 2010.

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  1. FaintOfHearts

    FaintOfHearts Active Member

    I honestly hate that question because Ive never had an answer for it. But earlier today I came to a conclusion of sorts.

    I'll be nowhere.

    I'm giving myself til my 21st birthday to live, that's roughly 3 months away. In the meantime, I continue to try and get as much help as possible to see if anything can be done, and maybe/hopefully something will change. But for the past 20 years I feel like Ive been a ghost. I just coast along with no destination, seeing and hearing things but not really "getting" the meanings. Whats worse is that no one notices. Im a college junior, talked into changing my major which I dont see myself doing at all and when I voice my feelings, all everyone says is that I should focus on the material things, like salary and prestige, things that dont mean shit if your heart isnt in it. And its not. I dont care if I dont own a Mercedes and make 7 figures. I dont care if Im not a manager or CEO. I just want to live my life comfortably, which is entirely possible without all the extra crap. But this is where I start to feel like a failure. Like eveyone is expecting me to be this big Somebody, but im fine just being me so I feel like Im letting them down. Like I'm wasting their time and money when they could have been raising another kid more in tune to their ways.

    There are times when I have brief impulses to do bigger and better things though. I put more effort into my appearance, try to be more outgoing and social, but every time my efforts are ignored. Like they have already given up on me but the moment I stop acting that way, they suddenly notice a change and hound me on it. Its all so stupid and superficial and I just cant stand it anymore. Im paranoid, reclusive and an insomniac. I can barely sleep through the night because of nightmares where the only time I see people genuinely caring about me is when I'm dying; only I wake up and know I could never be that lucky. Things are just getting worse and If I start hearing voices I know I'll have passed the point of no return. It would be better if things just ended now because I refuse to let myself get that far gone.
     
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey hard when people are trying to control your life your destination. You have to just be you. Do what brings you happiness money is not everything My son chose happiness a trade with his hands when he could have chosen a field that brought him wealth. He is happy he enjoys his job thats what matters. He chooses to stay out of the lime light out of the stresses and do a job he enjoys.
    When you can you just have to do what you want what brings you happiness
    Time to take some control back into your life and go after what you want.
     
  4. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Where do I see myself? Dead sometime this year.
     
  5. jordaniac89

    jordaniac89 Member

    I see myself one of two places: a)Alone with my dog drinking myself to death or b)dead. I'm like you. I have gotten myself all the help I can. I've reached out to people and they haven't reached back. I'm giving myself 6 more months.
     
  6. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Very hard to tell. Maybe dead, maybe dragging myself along.
     
  7. Emerald Hyperion

    Emerald Hyperion Not So Well-Known Member

    I hope to be dead by then, but if not, I'll still be alone, and five years older. I can't really see myself wanting to continue on past age 30.
     
  8. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Ultimately it's your life you should do what you feel is right for you.
    You're not wasting their time, by pushing you at something your hearts not into they're just wasting yours.
    :hug:
     
  9. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    Dead by accident.
     
  10. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    If things don't start looking up, certainly dead, whether by accident, murder, or suicide.
     
  11. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    Hopely dead, I just don't see myself living through out the next 5 year and hardly do I see myself going through another year/
     
  12. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    im not sure where i see myself. i can however state that i wont be sitting in the same place i am now. times change and we are allowed to change with them ... if we want to.

    theres only one thing i can say about your feelings. JUST BE YOURSELF. life isnt about material things. many ppl like to base their life that way, but i think they find they lack better things.

    it takes courage to not give a damn about what ppl think. if you spend all that time in colledge .. then you and only you will reap the benefits of it. you live the way you feel comfortable.
    you dont have to impress ppl to be somebody. just have a good attitude about life, be kind and be yourself.
     
  13. neohume

    neohume Well-Known Member

    where do i see myself in 5 years? haha take a guess..

    where would i like to see myself in 5 years? i think about it alot, i know exactly what i want.
    but, 'i want' never gets.:tongue:
     
  14. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Dead and Gone..... and definately forgotten by then...
    there's no one who gives a damn...
     
  15. privatename

    privatename Well-Known Member

    I see myself dead.
     
  16. Kichain

    Kichain Member

    To be honest, dead, but that doesn't mean I can put it off until I am happy, right?

    Well maybe it does but I'm trying.
     
  17. losthope

    losthope Well-Known Member

    Most probably dead, unless some change for the better occur within a year or so, but I don’t expect that doors will be open to me anymore.
     
  18. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Doin' pretty much the same things as I'm doing now and lovin' it.
     
  19. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Well dead or still here struggling to keep my practice together,,,i am either here or dead.
     
  20. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    dead or even more screwed up then I am now
     
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