I don't expect any responses or replies. I have come to feel that serious matters aren't easily recongonized here. I needed to say these things here, and yet at this point I don't even know what I am going to say or why I need to say these things. I want to sigh with the regrets that fill my mind. For a few years now this site and a few people have been my safe haven. This is not a goodbye, this may be nothing at all, this is just a pondering of the thoughts that are ever present in my warped and depraved mind. Many things in my life have not come easy, they have not come easy for many of us. Our stories may tie us to each other in certain ways, some of our experiences may be worse than some and better than others. I have been floundering in this world for many many years, still not much has changed. I am still floundering but I have made inches forward and I guess if I am to be totally honest, there have been inches back. As with others that have suffered through many trials and tribulations of a nightmarish childhood, trusting in others I think may be the hardest thing to overcome in life. Trust is a central thing in a persons life. Not having it or not being able to attain that feeling can hamper a persons growth. For me trust was something that was slowly destroyed each minute, each hour, each year of my life. Again and again I would put my faith to something or someone, and whether it be unintentional, the trust, fragile bonds, would disappear or be destroyed. I feel destroyed, I feel faithless, and so very alone. Yes I am fragile, but yet again I am not. There is a strength of iron that courses through my veins that has sustained me, but it is factual that even iron has a breaking point. I am so very worn and exhausted, depleted to my core.