Well Im still here, trying to hold on! Its time to let go, I cant take this pain, this constant misery and this faking anymore, Im so tired of being here!! The only thing that stopped me was my daughter, my sweet daughter. As ive thought about it, shes better off without me, and better off with me in her life. She knows Ive tried before, but to stay here and have her see me this way is just as bad, I can see the disappointment in her eyes, it just kills me!!! Its too hard to fake it anymore, I just dont have the strenght to try to stay here and fight!!! My energy has left and my hope for it to get better has gone now, it hasnt got better, only worse!!! My family is not a close one, they wont even care until after, then everyone seems to care! SO sad but true in my case. Noone wants to listen or care, everyone is so busy with there life and just tired of being around me, I bring them down and they dont want to see this person Ive become, I dont blame them! My beliefs are gone now too, Ive prayed and asked for help from god, hes not here anymore for me, only this empty, dark, awful place, you never want to be here, there are no words for it. I wish it could be different, so different. Where is god? WHY cant he see I need him sooo bad right now!!!