Where is He??

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ThePhantomLady, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    My boyfriend always logs on the chat thingy at 8am in the morning from his job. (every other thursday he's in therapy)

    It's 8:31 and he's not here!

    Why isn't he?

    Is he sick? He never gets sick! ... Last time he was sick the doctor changed his meds and that hasn't happened.

    He is taking my break this weekend really hard (self harmed a lot and was suicidal). And he hates himself for not being reachable. He blames himself.
    He doesn't need the stress. He suffers from PTSD and a very mild form of autism as a result of the brain damage he got as a kid. He barely sleeps at night without having to wonder if I make it through the night or not.

    Yesterday I had to make him watch me prepare my pills for the week, when he found out why I made that weird request, that it was because I didn't trust myself to hold handfuls of strong pain medicine alone he got so hurt.

    I worked hard on reassuring him that I was okay, I was just trying to be extra safe until this wears off.

    I did everything I could to make him believe me and to make him relax... I even gave him hints on how to stress off...

    But where is he? Is he okay?

    Dammit. I'm panicking. I can't breathe
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    He's back. Thank goodness!

    But... he had an accident. It's not bad at all, but he fell off his bike and scraped his leg and his arm is sore...

    He has PTSD after he had a really bad biking accident as a kid that gave him brain damage.
    He says he's okay, 'head'-wise as well... but I'm so worried he's going to have a reaction.

    It's been over 15 years since he had that accident that almost killed him and has had PTSD symptoms for that long but he hid it... until I saw through it (I have PTSD myself, haven't been treated though) but I just recognized the pattern and made him get into therapy for it.

    This means it's become 'raw' in his head again, while he's also moving forward and getting better.

    I've worried this would happen ever since he told me about the accident he had as a kid, and that he bikes a long way to and from work... of course it was hard for him to get back on the metal horse back then, but he did. And I'm proud.

    But damn.