Where to begin?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LostInTheMess, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. LostInTheMess

    LostInTheMess New Member

    I could start anywhere really, but i'll start with what's currently stressing me out.
    I don't think i've ever felt so...hopeless when it comes to considering my future.
    I've always wanted to do something in art or music, as a career. I've screwed myself out of that though, gridlocked myself into classes where I can't succeed in art, and i'm so good at it. Now, I never even have time to draw for fun.
    When I realized art and music were out of the question, I took a great interest in archaeology and Marine science, I have a serious passion for these subjects. The problem I've found though is I would really have to suceed in highschool to get into a good college to proceed into these careers.
    This is where i'm fucked. My grades are terrible right now, D's F's, C's i've never done so bad in school in my entire life, and i'm a junior in highschool. I took advanced classes to get me on the right path, but i'm drowning and I don't know what to do.
    Not to mention my family defintely does not have the income for college and i've only recently realized this.
    I refuse to be stuck in a terrible all time consuming job like my dad, I want to be happy with my profession and travel like i've never had the chance to.
    Right now, none of that is possible and people say I should drop my advanced classes and just revert back to regular classes but I feel I won't be able to achieve my goals like that.
    I've never felt so depressed.
    And I have this job, that takes up most of the time I should be doing homework, and a boyfriend who I feel I don't see enough so I have to give whatever spare time I have to him.
    I get no sleep.
    Recently a friend of mine tried to kill herself, with completely understandable reasons but I feel like such an asshole for even WANTING to talk to her about any of this. Not that she'd understand, being straight A's her whole life.

    As i write this right now, I'm avoiding my spanish homework. I'm so awful at it even though i've been taking it for 3 years, literally terrible. My teacher is obviously frustrated with me.
    I feel like screaming.

    I know these seem like pretty small problems. But idk what to do:/
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome. So glad you decided to post...it seems that you are so overwhelmed right now, that maybe cutting back on some of your school load might be helpful. I think it is brave to see what is needed for ourselves and do it, and in no way is a defeat...good luck with your courses and I hope you finished your homework