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Where to go now...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Tahnskis, Jun 5, 2012.

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  1. Tahnskis

    Tahnskis New Member

    For the last six or seven months of my life I was having a really hard time. I couldn't seem to get anything straight. It felt like I had nothing, I was going no where and there was nothing I could do about it. There were multiple occasions that I attempted to end my life, only to get thwarted by a really good friend who has an uncanny ability to show up just in time.

    Within the last few months I started developing physical symptoms. Some nights I couldn't sleep at all, and others I would sleep 14-15 hours. Regardless, I was always tired. I started getting light headed and dizzy, I didn't want to get out of bed most days. I hated the idea of doing all the stuff I usually loved. The worst thing was that I seemed to lose my ambition. Ambition was something I always had. Always. So for it to be gone- well people began to notice right away. But the worst part was that everyone just thought that I was tired or I dunno... They assumed it was nothing.

    I did not know what to do with myself, and I was scared. I was really really scared. So my friend talked me into going to see a doctor... and I was still petrified. I seriously stood outside the doors of the doctor's office for half an hour because I didn't want to go in.

    Well after a lot of embarrassing questions, and honest answers. He diagnosed me with depression.

    He put me on Cipralex. And well... Now I don't know where to go from here... A part of me is embarrassed... and it feels like I don't have the right to be depressed... And the medication scares me... and I just don't know.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...I am so glad that you went to see the doctor...did he also suggest talk therapy? Medication is sometimes more effective with that support as well...and I always pose this question, if you had a cardiac condition or diabetes, would you be ashamed to be on meds? Depression is a medical condition in many instances, so please, if the meds help you,take them and if not, tell your doctor so that he can change them to something that might be more effective...welcome, and so glad you are taking better care of yourself
  3. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Did something happen in your life that could have been a trigger for this unhappiness? I know that people can be affected by depression for any number of reasons, and sometimes the onset of it can be sudden and random. For me, I have been depressed for most of my life, and it stems from everything I've gone through in life. I can list a dozen reasons why I feel the way that I feel. But I realize that for some people, this is not the case... they just feel depressed and are unsure why. I guess this is a case of situational versus clinical depression. The former can only be cured by fixing the causes of said depression; the latter is something that I think is better left to professionals to treat. You don't have to be embarrassed or feel guilty, depression is something that can happen to anyone. Medications can be scary, but that's something you have to discuss with your doctor - whether or not the meds are working and whether or not it is worth it for you. Depression can be pretty scary too.
  4. Tahnskis

    Tahnskis New Member

    Thank you to both of you for taking the time to talk to me.

    The doctor didn't suggest or refer me to a psychologist of any sort, though I think he wants to see me on the meds for two weeks first, and then we are going from there. To be totally honest, I don't entirely know what caused it. I know I've been this way for years, but it didn't get this bad until the passing of my best friend. So I guess that would be the trigger. It just feels like I shouldn't be depressed. Like... I'm alive, I have friends, school is going great, I have a job I love. But something is missing almost... I am taking the meds, even though they scare me, and I'm going to request to see a psychologist.
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