For the last six or seven months of my life I was having a really hard time. I couldn't seem to get anything straight. It felt like I had nothing, I was going no where and there was nothing I could do about it. There were multiple occasions that I attempted to end my life, only to get thwarted by a really good friend who has an uncanny ability to show up just in time. Within the last few months I started developing physical symptoms. Some nights I couldn't sleep at all, and others I would sleep 14-15 hours. Regardless, I was always tired. I started getting light headed and dizzy, I didn't want to get out of bed most days. I hated the idea of doing all the stuff I usually loved. The worst thing was that I seemed to lose my ambition. Ambition was something I always had. Always. So for it to be gone- well people began to notice right away. But the worst part was that everyone just thought that I was tired or I dunno... They assumed it was nothing. I did not know what to do with myself, and I was scared. I was really really scared. So my friend talked me into going to see a doctor... and I was still petrified. I seriously stood outside the doors of the doctor's office for half an hour because I didn't want to go in. Well after a lot of embarrassing questions, and honest answers. He diagnosed me with depression. He put me on Cipralex. And well... Now I don't know where to go from here... A part of me is embarrassed... and it feels like I don't have the right to be depressed... And the medication scares me... and I just don't know.