where to go / what to do?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by magoon, Oct 19, 2009.

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  1. magoon

    magoon Member

    Well a short inside to me,male, between 16 and 20, had to leave college for my own fault, spinning way out of control!

    dont know where to start so we'll see where this thread goes :)

    Started college a month or two ago , HND Photography, started off amazing, really enjoyed myself and i even made a couple friends quickly, now how-ever, left college due to not being able to fund, still havent told father and its been two weeks since ive left! but if i left it any later then we would have been charged for my first assignments at £80 each, which is quite alot in this house!

    MY father and oldest brother whom i live with, are struggling very badly with money, debt and running deep into over drafts every month , trippling the pressure to tell my dad bout the college and also has quite an agressive touch to day to day life, dont get the wrong end of the stick, my family members would never harm anyone in the family but were alot moodier.

    Things that make life worse the now : well i admit i do smoke , which doesnt help in the long run but its the only thing i can do the now to take my mind off things for those measly few hours, but the bad side is that ive been looking at high bridges and have even found my self up late a few nights just thinking about taking myself, it doesnt sound like its alot to take a life over but here just now it feels about right.

    I dont let on abot this thaught really , hence why this post is abit of a wierd read, i just keep it pinned down, making it worse, only half good thing hapening just now is ive been to a part time job interview and it went rather smoothly so here hoping :)

    no advise is really needed but it would be a nice thing to have, also any wee thaughts about what i should do ? any perfect moments to let loose on my dad or keep it quiet? or even if osme felt the need to have a wee convo over this maybe even an E-pen pal :smile: (the wee things that keep me smiling is the wee mad ideas lol)

    Thanks for reading people :)
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Tough but i would just be honest don't let it go too long. Maybe just maybe your dad can come up with something that helps you get back into college and photography Tell him now don't leave it hanging any longer If you can't face him then leave him a note telling him what happened and how you need his support right now
  3. magoon

    magoon Member

    The leaving him a note idea is a good one, one i didnt think of before, but only doubt after that is my oldest brother, its mostly him that makes it that little bit harder, hes only a few years older than me but since im the youngest im the "immateure one" and hes "The king" really , he sees himself as a perfect wee boy like hes never made any mistakes, how wrong!

    if i had the guts to actually tell him that! lol
  4. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hi Lewis,

    Welcome to the forum :smile:

    I'm not much good at advice, just wanted to say I'd read your post and I'm sorry you've had to leave doing something you do obviously enjoyed. But it does seem like you're going to have to tell your dad soon, why are you reluctant? How is he likely to react?
  5. magoon

    magoon Member

    well if i told him straight, i wouldnt see him kicking me out or hurting my physically but constant bawling at me, untill my brother comes in from work where he would start, then i go on one of those walks, been here before but not as serious as this.

    if i left him a note i think it would be abit calmer as ive never left him a note before, would take me weeks to write and a further few weeks to currage up and leave the note
  6. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    It sounds like even though he doesn't hit you, you're pretty scared of him?

    If it's lack of funds that have made you have to leave college, how come he wouldn't understand that? Or are there other reasons, stuff that you're afraid to tell him about?
  7. magoon

    magoon Member

    yeah, well apart from his age of 60, hes just , well , awfy shouty :S, its like he likes an arguement or hes always looking for one, hes never really able to take a small joke from me or my brother,

    hes always always always said to me if theres problems with money tell me, but we both know that he couldnt help me in this case, im his first son to get into a college that is out of our living town, then this makes me feel like ive failed, this is the main reason for not telling.

    Oh no, it was the funds, i was gettin £240 a month for college, had to buy my monthly ticket which was £180, leaving £60 for getting to train station 4times a week , even with out buying lunch its a struggle, with it being HND aswell i couldnt reely go for a job as most my time was spent in the library researching and working away on my briefs.
  8. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Ah I think I begin to understand. Only I can't help thinking that maybe he wouldn't be quite so mad as you fear, because it's about money, not about you having messed up or anything. Wouldn't he understand about how expensive it was, seeing as how he is struggling with money problems himself, and not blame you?
  9. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hey Lewis I have to go now, just wanted to tell you so you wouldn't think I'm deliberately ignoring you. Hope to read more about you soon!
  10. magoon

    magoon Member

    ive never thaught about it like that,

    he probably would understand the money issue but still the fact ive left it a tad late to tell him,

    its always my fault lol, believe me, being the youngest of 3 is a hard thing to bare with in this house :)

    No bother Tam, its been nice hearing a different view , its not over yet :D
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Lewis,
    I think you need to sit down and get it straight in your head and then sit your dad down and talk to him.. You can always go back to school..If you get the part time job would the hours interfere with your school hours??Don't worry about your brother..Let what he says go in one ear and out the other.. I mean he works full time and still lives at home..So he isn't much better off..
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