where's the 'good' in living?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ibetam, Feb 13, 2009.

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  1. ibetam

    ibetam Well-Known Member

    if your death will cause others pain through loss, yet one event of pain that will fade over time, and your living causes constant pain to those others with little exception and you haven't wanted to live for years, is it right to carry on living?
     
  2. ibetam

    ibetam Well-Known Member

    what if you're what's poisoning everything in the lives of everyone you love and of those who love you? what if for all your more than good intentions and consideration and effort, you're still always wrong and just a plague on the world? what if you've always admired and idolised the 'heros' in this world and always wanted and tried to be just like them and yet always, always and everytime just shown yourself to be an evil monster who is apparently unable to change? i've always believed people can decide who they are if they take control of themselves and their lives, maybe that's backwards and we will always be nothing more than organic machinery.
     
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    To those who love you your death will not fade over time. It will be a sadness that will live with them forever. Stay safe.
     
  4. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. . . snowraven is right. losing a loved one to any type of death, never fades. you miss them EACH day and their absence leaves a place that never gets filled.

    you have a value in this world. and each day you are ALIVE - you have a chance to do some good. it can be small things. a hug, opening a door, saying something kind to a stranger. you don't have to cure aids or end famine......good things are GOOD, no matter how small.

    i have felt like you, before. and i think it was my pain and guilt - taking over my rational thought. you have some ''rational'' part in you, the part that reached out here. . . hold on to that part. stay alive and i have faith that things can turn for you- life is powerful and precious, and i am so grateful for the supportive friends HERE that help me to daily, hold on. we are all here for YOU too. . . . :hug:
     
  5. ibetam

    ibetam Well-Known Member

    thank you very much for the support, you are both very right, as my mum helped me see last night. i feel fine again now, always up and down like a yo-yo, knowledge of that has kept me alive. the logic is still there though, and a darkness that never fades, that is just washed over for a time. maybe it can't fade, maybe it's reality and life is simply running from that darkness, there's no fighting it, it loves that. maybe some battles in the mind and heart may only be won by out running the opponent you present yourself to face. running is a sport, just like fighting, and similar rules apply in the heart and mind as in any event in which we compete in reality. i digress, thank you both again very much for your support, it is not unappreciated.
     
  6. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    :hug:

    It's tough. Suicide is almost always linked to severe chronic depression. And as depression is made part of you for so long, it's often hard to remember that it's a poisonous toxin in you that tries to kill you.

    I've had tons of suicides in my family - the pain and trauma of having someone close to you take their life and what's worse - for you to find it, is a pain that doesn't go away.

    That's the only thing preventing me from suiciding. Glad you spoke with your mom.
     
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