Which life?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Sa Palomera, Apr 29, 2008.

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  1. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Okay I've got a question which I'd like y'all to think about :smile:

    Do you live your life, or the life others expect you to live?

    Also, why? Do you feel like you had no choice? Which would be the best way to live life? Or perhaps there's a grey area in between, rather than either one or the other?

    All thoughts and views are welcome!
  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Hmm..I live the life others expect me to live, unfortunately. I feel as though I don't have a choice, it's kind of like, society has this little plan set up for people, I guess. Like, you're born, you go to school, you reach adulthood, you do more school, you work, you retire, you die. And I hate having to live that, it bugs me, but I have this thing where I can't let myself let anyone down, so, society's plan is one I have to use. :dunno: Just my thoughts.
  3. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    And why do you feel you'd let people down if you'd set your own path?
    Don't you think people would find it courageous and brave of you if you'd set a path of your own, if you'd do things you find interesting and satisfactory?
  4. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Here's a quote I like...

    "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be." - Abraham Maslow
  5. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    The life others want me to live.
  6. Am I living at all?
  7. man

    man Well-Known Member

    it can hurt to dissapoint people however it feels so damn good to suprise people. I remember after my first fight I knocked my opponent out my corner men went fucking insane it was one of the moast powerfull feelings of my life, being so far away from home doing something my entire friends and family looked down on and suprising my corner men, making my new friends and trainers proud, the look on his face I will never forget, the dissapointment of friends and family I will never regret.

    Everyone who does something they beleive in is a god damn hero as far as I'm concerned!
  8. Dying embers

    Dying embers Well-Known Member

    It can be hard to find the inspiration to do your own thing though, when everyone else is following the plan already. And finding the strength too. I mean, the people who need to break out of society the most are the people like us, sad people. But being sad makes you fragile and afraid (me anyway), and to succeed at something off the beaten track yiu need to be strong and willing to cause a bit of trouble. And tbh, I don't even know what I'd want to do even if i could be anything. i don't really believe in dream careers anymore, even if i grad from college and get a great job I know that won't help, it will still be that the only thing keeping me going will be the hope something else will come along and save me.
  9. Whitewolf

    Whitewolf Well-Known Member

  10. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    I don't think parents want their children to be courageous, unique, or even necessarily happy. Certainly I never hear anything to that effect... all they seem concerned about is keeping their children "safe". As far as that goes, I feel the same as Helen Keller did:

    "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."

    Unfortunately I don't live up to that at all... :dry:
  11. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    it's lucky that i'm living for others else i'd be dead actually.
  12. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I lived the life others expected me to live. I realized that I don't know what I want to do because I have no passion for anything, so now I'm lost.
  13. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    you know, I've put some more thought into this.. and I wonder.. is it even possible at all to live your own life, completely?
    Aren't there always expectations of you to live up to, or pressure to do things? Has society created an image of which youngsters are expected to live up to? :unsure:
  14. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    The phrase "Death by social comparison" springs to mind. We so often compare ourselves to things external to ourselves, how other people look, how much money / love / success they have in their lives and we don't, (and what's worse is that even if we don't, then others often try to force these comparisons on us anyway)

    I once read a book by Viktor Frankl about his time spent in concentration camps, and wonder, in that situation how are you possibly free to live your own life? I guess what makes you as a person is what's inside you, your hopes, dreams, beliefs, ideals, passions etc. and even in a prison cell hopefully they can't take those away from you. That in a sense is what real freedom is.

    I think ideally people shouldn't let life define who they are, but rather life should be an expression of who they are, hence my earlier quote. And yes I know many people, myself included, would say "but I don't like who I am", however I think that recognising and accepting that is the first step in becoming the person that you are meant to be.

    Well that's the theory anyway, the practice of it is always a different thing completely though.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 2, 2008
  15. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I love that theory, Ziggy :smile:

    Unfortunately the last sentence of your past is all too true :sad:
  16. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    *message deleted* - I had a thought but it wasn't important :)
    Last edited by a moderator: May 3, 2008
  17. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    ^ Exactly! :smile:

    Thanks for the insight, I couldn't have worded it any better myself :smile:
  18. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    I think the only people who come close to living their own life are sociopaths. Take empathy away from someone and they'll do whatever makes them happy, no matter what.

    There's nothing wrong with living up to society's expectations, it's just that no one tends to appreciate you if you do, so most who try to end up miserable or burnt out. You get more from life if you act in your own self interest above all else. You even get more respect from others. The same people who keep telling you to do what they say, are the ones who will only honestly like you and respect you, if you only ever do what you want to do. It's annoying. :dry:
  19. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    When I was younger I was expected to go to university even though I didn't want to. Now I could:

    a) simply not have gone because I didn't want to.
    b) have gone because other people wanted me to

    In the end I went for (b) and they were possibly the worst years of my life. However by the end of the course I wasn't there just because it was expected of me, I was there because of the meaning and importance that I attached to being there.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 5, 2008
  20. here2day

    here2day Well-Known Member

    I honestly live my own life. and it defenately isn't what society expects of me. I have a large family. i grow what we eat, can it, and cook it from scratch. I make our own clothes. We make most of our own furniture. I have my music,my books and my creative endevors. I live a very "back to the basics" kind of lifestyle that isn't genrally accepted by society.

    That isn't to say that the outside universe doesn't influence the person I am today, it just doens't CONTROLL who I am or the lifestyle I choose to live.
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