'which one doesn't belong?' >> me. -__-

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by KittyGirl, May 23, 2010.

  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    It's a 'family bbq' tonight. Everyone is home... my 2 stepsisters. They both have their boyfriends over; my little brother has his girlfriend over and for once- mom and her bf are getting along and being all lovey-dovey

    I don't know what the hell I'm doing...
    I feel sick to my stomach. I have nothing to say.
    Honestly... I can't seem to think of one positive thing that I can contribute to any conversation... so I'm just going to stay locked in my room.
    I fucking hate this. -____-

    Yesterday; I was standing in the kitchen, making some food for myself when my stepsister and her friend mentioned that there was an agoraphobic person on the latest episode of 'Bones'. Then they were talking like they knew everything about people who had agoraphobia- WHILE I WAS STANDING 3 FEET AWAY FROM THEM.

    Hi! I'm agoraphobic! Thanks for fucking noticing!!
    I hate this house.
    I can't stand living in the same house with my 'family' - I hate feeling unappreciated and ignored... happy victoria day weekend, everyone!!
    Just let me sleep through it :sad:
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I'm panicking-- and I know that I shouldn't be... it's a really stupid thing to get worked up over...
    my bitch of a stepsister invited like 8 guyfriends over and now they're all laughing and having a good time-- drinking; right outside my window.

    I feel like she's doing it to tease me.

    I'm shaking for whatever reason- and tearing up... can't eat more than a bite of food... ah-
    I knew I wasn't ready to go anywhere yet. Glad I chickened out and stayed at home this weekend... at the same time though; I wish I didn't have to be here while everyone is having a grand ole fucking time and I'm the only loser- freaking out.
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel, at all my family gatherings I feel like the odd one out. Seems like I am the only one who has no one but myself. There is my sister who has a different boyfriend for every month, my other sister who has her one boyfriend. My mom and step dad. Then there is me, the one who has no one.

    You are not alone in this feeling. This is why I avoid family events like the plauge. It gets even worse when my cousins show up. :hugtackles: you will be just fine.
  5. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Must be hard to be around so many people when you're feeling like that... You know, it's OK to tell people you don't feel good. The most important thing is to be yourself and not be ashamed. If you are going through some stuff that is your business and no one has the right to judge you for it.
  6. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Sometimes we can't worry about belonging. All my friends have BFs except for me. It seems like everybody is happy and in harmony. I am left to be alone and with nobody to go out with! I wish I could tell you better, but I know how hard it is myself. My family drives me crazy. My cousin has been visiting for the past few weeks. Start of summer and all that makes it harder. In addition to the fact that I'm taking summer courses.
    Hope things start to get better for you. There are ups and downs, but hopefully we both have happier days ahead and some sleep!!! ;)))
  7. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    Hey Kitty :hug:

    Sorry you're having a lousy Victoria weekend :(
    I wish you didn't feel so secluded from your fam.

    I hope tomorrow's a better day.
  8. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    I'm sorry :hug: ... wish I could say something helpful :(