which suicide method to use

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by neonjin, Jul 7, 2010.

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  1. neonjin

    neonjin Member

    I originally searched for a forum where people could just discuss suicide, not necessarily a help forum like this but this is all I could find.

    So if you want to help me spare the motivation and pep talk, it doesn't do anything. I have had CHRONIC (not random or acute) depression since I was a fucking little kid. Okay, it's nonstop..so before you try to give me any encouragement, ask yourself why you think YOU can help me.

    All I want to know is if anyone here has the knowledge if an overdose on morphine would be pleasant (like the high from lower doses) or would it be miserable like all other ways of dying? I want it to look like an accident. So obviously a gun is out of the question. I think I've had enough pain and misery that it's not too much to ask for a pleasant death. I can't seem to find the information I'm looking for on the net. I have no reason to believe it would be unpleasant, but you never know, and I want a for sure deal. I'd rather not have to ever make another trip to the emergency room and have to stay the night in the hospital followed by meaningless counseling.

    Also, my birthday is in 14 days. I think it would be really convenient to do it on my birthday because for one everyone who knows me knows that I was addicted to opiates for several years, so it's perfectly logical to assume that I would want to celebrate my birthday by doing some morphine, this would make it look more accidental. They will think that I forgot to factor in how my tolerance had gone down after being clean for so long, it happens to "ex" junkies all the time right?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 7, 2010
  2. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    There has to be something better than death. ANYTHING. TRY ANYTHING but that. The fact that you want it to look like an accident shows you still care about something. Lets build from there. If this is a physical problem why not keep trying new meds. I am praying for you.Try that too. You may not like me saying that but I need to. Please dont do this. I know people whove seen overdoses before and it is traumatic for them. It is a bad thing. Whatever is inside you that wants this can be defeated. Who put all that negatvity in you? Dont let it win. Dont let them win. Im here anytime you want to talk. Like it or not I care and wont stop trying to convince you that it is wrong and a mistake to hurt yourself. I have lost so much in my life, but I cant give in.Please dont you either. I have a right to say this because I care and i dont want to see another wasted life. Ive seen too many. Let us help please . TELL US EVERYTHING and we WILL figure a way out.

    Send me a PM lets talk,

    Marty
     
  3. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    ive had severe depression my entire life, im not saying its a guarantee i can help, but i can relate and im here if you wanna talk or something....

    i might not be able to change how you think, trust me i know this one, i think in a similar fashion and noone has been able to completely make me want to continue on, but for bits of time i have felt better by talking to people, i reccomend trying it


    weve been dealt a shitty card, and unfortunately theres no real concrete way to make it better, honestly i dont think its about getting better at this point, its about just dealing with it and surviving...kinda
     
  4. neonjin

    neonjin Member

    Okay well, I can already tell that it would probably be best for me to not stick around here. You want to help and I appreciate that, but there is simply nothing we can talk about that will make the slightest bit of difference. I don't see the point in telling you all my life story.

    And the ONLY reason why I want it to look like an accident is because a lot of people I know think that suicide is "weak" and I don't want to give them the power of thinking they were stronger than me because they'd never "stoop so low" or something like that. It is not about devastating "loved ones" because I have no loved ones. I pretty much hate everyone. Including the so-called "loved ones" like family members. In fact, I want them to feel my pain and it makes me angry that they get to live happy-go-lucky lives and will NEVER understand this pain. I blame them for a lot of it. Maybe my stupid mother shouldn't have prescribed me ritalin when I was 10 years old, which just so happened to be around the same time I became severely depressed? I'm not saying that that is totally conclusive, but yeah, that MIGHT be the reason why I am STILL depressed. Why I have never been happy SINCE then. So the whole idea of hurting loved ones basically has no effect on my conscience, or lack of.

    I honestly don't see why it's such a bad thing to help facilitate someone's urge to end their own life, is THAT not helping them?
     
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    right, first off, this is a pro-life forum, so no one will give you help in achieving death, whether it be how much to take of something, or a peaceful way to die.
    Secondly, I think if there was a "peaceful" way of doing it, most of us here, would have done it by now.
    Thirdly, alot of us here have dealt with long term depression, so we can help in some way I would think. We may all have different reasons for being depressed, but we know what its like.
    so reach out to us. tell us whats got you to this place? what have you tried to fix your predicament? what can help you live?
     
  6. Concave

    Concave Active Member

    My brother shot himself 12 years ago on his bday, which also happened to be Thanksgiving. :( While I'm depressed myself, and think about suicide alot, I also know that it is selfish, and a permanent soulution to a temporary problem. But I do understand where you're coming from. Its just that my mom told me if I'm going to kill myself I better come and take her w/ me cause she couldn't go through losing another child. (She has been depressed and attempted suicide way before I was born)
     
  7. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you have so much anger. I'm more sorry that other pushed all that anger into you. You have been a scapegoat and a sacrifice. DONT let them win by acting that sacrifice out. You are turning that anger on yourself. Why not work it out and survive as a way to show them. Their lives may not be so happy if you could be in their skin. If they did all that to you how can they REALLY be happy. I wouldnt care what these people thought of me if they are soooo judgemental they will think badly no matter what. Dont give them that power. I'm sorry about the meds so young. That must have been terrible. You seem like a GREAT person to me. A strong person. Use that strength and make a great life and then the others will know what they did to you didnt work. Why not realize your potential as a STRONG and INTERESTING, Insightful, Smart person. I for one like you. Hang here and maybe you could help me too.COME ON. PLEASE stay. Youll probably laugh at me but Im actually starting to cry. JUST STAY. PLEASE

    Marty
     
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    No suicide methods are allowed here neonjin, just kind words of encouragement. Please reconsider suicide. Also, killing yourself on your birthday will just be cruel to your family.
     
  9. Michael Ayin

    Michael Ayin Well-Known Member

    I have an opposite problem. I have a father I care about, and he's had medical troubles. In fact, his stroke was caused (in part) because he worked himself over what has happend with me. Plus, he's had a poor diet and smoked almost all his life. If I kill myself, he'll probably die over it as well.

    Makes me pretty much fucking stuck. It would be easier if no one gave a shit, I'll tell you that.
     
  10. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Neonjin I hope you are well. Praying for you and thiking of you.
     
  11. NoWayForward

    NoWayForward Member

    Re: I hope I'm not banned for this...

    I find the Ten Minute Guide to which I linked to be funny, because it is not precisely what it purports to be. For example, it contains advise such as (not exact words):

    An improperly written suicide note can tarnish your memory/intentions eternally (they supply an example). To ensure that you're properly understood (ya know, for posterity), you should send your draft suicide note to all of your friends, who can possibly suggest revisions!

    I think even the original poster could catch the intention behind that tidbit.... If not, they should certainly try it...
     
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